Oh boy oh boy oh boy!!!!

dilation and effacement

"In my mind, I already killed you three times!"...
Forgive me for my violent thoughts. But it's just so hard to control my rage nowadays. I pray earnestly to give me peace while I feel this incredibly sluggish. The sleeping beauty spell is still very much on and my crappy mood came back with a vengeance. These last few weeks of pregnancy is bittersweet. I love hugging my bump ( as if I can literally hug my bump... I can't even reach my toes let alone see them) but being this huge has its dark alleys. And the crying lady for some reason crawl her way to mess up my character. I don't know why. But these past few nights before bed me and bebe started having dramatic dialogues while watching DVF on E!. I feel emotional, me against the world and vice-versa kind-of-way! I cry myself to sleep clutching my belly. Ugly swollen eyes waking me up the next day. My bladder feeling like its shrunk 10 times. Bathroom breaks is now reaching twenty gazillion times each day.

On a positive note, my body is phenomenal. Like how our body knows what needs to be done in order to breathe, I believe that our body knows how to prepare itself for the D-day as well. Last week's appointment my OB told me that My cervix is already effaced. I still feel shy being checked down there. And yesterday she told my I am already 2-3 cm dilated. Holy cow! She believes everything is going to be easy for me. Although I feel like a whale most of the time, she assured me that me and bebe are both in excellent health. Sometimes people get surprised when they find out I am carrying a boy. One old wive's tale say carrying boys make the mommy ugly. Super darkened underarms and neck, dark spots in the face and tomato-like noses emerging like Shrek's. Oh well thanks for telling me I am no way close to looking like Shrek in this pregnancy. My bebe is such a good boy. He listens to mommy. And we take care of each other. Only this time, if bebe wants a cookie at 2am he makes it a point he will get it by kicking me so hard I could literally feel his tiny fist. But overall, I can feel his love and obedience and his excitement to meet everyone.

I can give birth any moment now. I still feel like doing some light weights but I worry bebe will come out before daddy arrives so better just catch more snoozin' like I haven't slept in a hundred years.

Now I want a giant pepperoni pizza. Daaaaaaaad!!!! Please get me one!!!!

behind the scenes...

Wake up sleepy head

 What is going on? I feel so sleepy that I can hardly move any muscle.  I just want to... zzz

 

   I've been warned not to sleep too much in the afternoon if I still want to keep track of my weight and bebe's. But this has been my constant struggle for days now. Even after having breakfast I just feel like I want to crawl back into bed. I could put the blame on that Anti-hyper intensive pills my OB gave me. It soothes me in a way that I feel like even the most uncomfortable seat is a water bed. And my bebe seems to enjoy this feeling too, punching me in the most bizarre body parts. So I spend most of my afternoons studying Russian and Ukranian languages. I love every moment of it. I feel a little bit prouder this time because I have been a very consistent student.  I can read and write and speak so much better now. Sometimes when I come across some Italian and French words it surprises me that I still know them. I feel like I should have taken a double major way back in College. It would have been such great accomplishment to be multilingual. I can't help it --- to dream and plan what I want to do next. I'm in-love with foreign language and yoga. And traveling is my second nature. At the same time I am really so much motivated to start putting up my own business. Right now I still have so many free time in my hands. I guess I 'll see how it goes once bebe is born. 

      This edema thingy is putting a toll in my body big time. My feet hurts. I feel like they are as heavy as a baby elephant's feet. And my fingers are sausage-like and they hurt too. I can't remove my rings and they are sucking the blood out of my middle and ring fingers. I should have listened to my friends to remove them early on. Too late now. 

      I spent one weekend hitching in my brother's prenup photoshoot. I was fortunate to get a nice deal for my own maternity photoshoot. Can't wait for my hubby to do it since I might give birth any time soon and I just want to capture this beautiful bump before it becomes "abs". Hehe. We had a great location. We spent an entire day doing makeup, outfit and location changes. And so when I reached home we were completely exhausted. First time I went to bed at 9pm. The next day I decided to forget walking for an hour since my bed won't let go of me. I will try to double my efforts next time. 

     I want to get back into my pre-pregnancy body ASAP. But there are times when my brain tries to trick me into making a list of things I want to reward myself with once I graduated this stage in my life with flying colors. I'm dying to indulge in a gallon of Coffee Crumble Ice cream, Red Velvet cheesecakes and Bistro Shrimp Pasta and  loads and loads of sushi. 

 On second thought...maybe I 'll just go straight to Jillian Michael.

#flashback

Nesting

" How are you? "
" I am doing fine, " And so much better I guess now is an understatement. I am no longer that much "hormotional" although I can still be a little bit irritating and equally easily irritated. But my state of mind is more stable nowadays.

I am still re-doing our small nursery for Bebe. I am considering to do the walls. Unfortunately nobody will allow me to paint and I don't want anybody to do it for me so I guess I will stick to wallpaper. I want to do some DIY too to give extra colors in his room. So tomorrow will definitely be another nesting day. Started cleaning and polishing since last week. I try to catch my breath and rest in between. My workout routine has been consistent only today I missed it since I am doing the christmas decorations in the house for the 2nd time. And man, I am really enjoying this. I am certainly having enough of the Kardashians on E! That I'd rather listen to Russian nursery rhymes.

I already reached my maximum allowable weight gain and yet my friends and family think I still look small. "Thank you" is my polite response. But I keep telling my hubby that I walk now like a penguin. And my sweet love immediately comforts me by saying he always wanted a penguin and now he has one. Haha. I can't help but reminisce the times we stop by Ski Dubai and watch the Penguins play in the snow. I can imagine myself in there.

Aside from all of these preparations, me and my bebe tend to snooze a lot. I don't know. I just feel so sleepy during the day but can't sleep at night. It's like my body clock is in a different time zone.
I fell asleep just waiting for the microwave to finish reheating lunch. I feel asleep right after I took shower. And yet at night 2am is still a battlefield to get in the most comfortable position.

As I've said, childbirth is like preparing for a marathon. And watching birth videos which used to freak me out is now a hobby I enjoy doing before lounging myself in bed at wee hours of the night. I pray for strength and endurance like those women I've seen. I pray for safe, easy and short labor and delivery.

Oh little man... We're almost there..

A few more weeks to bake...so i took my time to party last weekend...

 I always love Christmas decorating. ..

Random Thursday

Changes

   I can't believe to finally admit this, but the temperature here is getting better. Oh lala! It's getting cooler here in the side of the Philippines. Believe it or not. I don't sweat as much and I can switch off the AC from time to time. This is such an improvement.

   Feeling heavier by the week as my due date is approaching. I started plotting my days 'til my bebe arrives. I just don't know who's going to come first, the hubby or the bebe. But I really hope hubby comes first and bebe will come out a week after that just to give us time to unwind our last few days as a couple without  a child. But if bebe decides to come out anytime after he's considered full term I would be as delighted.

    Spell Edema. Gosh. I thought I would be one of those lucky few who will skip it. My feet are swollen like big fat ginger. Nothing of my shoes will ever fit. I bought a new pair and it looks ugly on those empanada-like feet that are hardly recognizable. And thunder thighs and ankles. Forgive me. I will stick to long and spacious maxi-dresses for now to give me some space to move around. Never mind the tights and leggings. No hope.

    Sleep is a miracle when they come easy. My little love enjoys pinching mommy every moment of the day or night. I could actually feel my internal organs shaking. In fact last night I feel like a bubble tea whenever I change sleep positions. Bebe will move making the other side light and the other bumpy. Haha. It's really fascinating to feel a real live human being  inside of you. It's undeniable that you are certainly not alone.

   Done with the hospital bag prep. Hopefully this time, no more trips to emergency room before I reached my 37th week. Done with the diaper bag too. I decided to separate them since there's just too much to bring and I don't want to risk not having items I need when we need them. I want us to be both ready and hubby too to be well-equipped when the labor and delivery time happen.


    I'm pretty much just counting down  the days. But I decided to keep myself occupied. Thank goodness that November is such a busy month for birthdays and events. Although it's harder to move around since I get tired quickly I prefer to be busy rather than sitting all day watching tv. Remembering how this gestational hypertension attacked me just when I was just lying lazily on a sunday afternoon watching gorgeous men and women with their throat being slit like animals.  I have tons of reading materials to finish, a nursery and a room to re-decorate and planning the first few months of 2015. I am OCD Capricorn.

   I am beyond excited for this new stage in my life. Holding my precious baby in my arms and having my hubby with me in all these important holidays ahead.

   I realized how hard and wonderful  it is to carry a child. I salute all the mothers and the mom-to be out there.