Thursday, April 28, 2011

careless whispers

If only these walls could talk
They will laugh at you.
If you can see me what happens
when you walk through me every day
and how I waited, You will see
how you messing up my mind each time.

The screams in the corridor and the smell
of your cologne I remember.
I could only think of you.
Drawing circles in my mind.
I am falling hopelessly as I try to
forget the other.
It's not so bad after all.

Let's walk together hand-in-hand
in your fantasy.
Let's be foolish tonight and forget about the rules.
I just want to feel
I am in-love with you.

Welcome Summer!



You're too hot to handle.
Your touch burn my skin.
And the sun rays blind me
when I look up to see.

The salty waters are like tears
from last night,
and yet however
I want to stay under and fill me
with desire...

---Atlantis, The Palm
Aquaventure, Beach april2011

Monday, April 25, 2011

Unsaid, Unsent

Like a last song syndrome you keep playing in my head. Replay was on default especially in the morning when I look up the sky. The sunny days just started I could not stay outside. I keep on hearing your voice and the sound of your laugh in my ears is my lullaby. Oh, you make me smile.

You give me shivers. You make me sleep at night. And when it hurts sometimes, it's alright. I don't cry. Anymore.

I couldn't ask you. I just wait here. To know you're happy makes me happy. There are things in life you just have to accept. Wish for the best and prepare for the worse.

Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be by your side. No more guessing. No more second thoughts. I just want to be there. To hear you, to know what's in there. Your secrets, your fears and your happy-endings.

There are two rivers in my life. I don't know which one to take. This crossroad has its expiry date. I am running out of time.

I don't want to be that girl again. You have to give the best of you as I given the best of me. Just remember what I said, you don't have to ask what I already told you.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Three Ladies @ the Counter


I could not win tonight. I know. I stood there with friends with a bottle of wine and some foolish games in mind. I stare at the sky when it was empty. The wind brings chill down my spine and I feel like it's not too bad after all. We sang songs of madness 'til it was morning and completely wasted, oh I wish. But good girls couldn't get bad. They still keep it decent and discreet. Happy hours reached the morning and I crawl back to bed.
Oh my head hurts and I forgot where I put the keys. The mobile went dead and there she was sleeping on the floor.
Oh mother, do you want to be a mother?
I want to get married.
oh, yeah that's right.
The older guy was better than the other? I bet.
Maybe he will take you seriously.
Oh mother do you want to be a mother?
Yeah, Like next year.

Friday, April 22, 2011

I Can't take the Distance

The Sky has lost it's color
The Sun has turned to Grey
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever your away.

I crawl up in the corner
As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The TIME your comin' back.

I can't take the distance
I can't take the MILES
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'M NOT ASHAMED,
That with every breath I take I AM calling Your NAMe..

But I can't take the Distance.

I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
NOT nearly CLOSE enough...

I brave fire and I brave rain
To be by your side I'll do anything
I can't take the DISTANCE.

i WILL go the Distance
I will go the Miles
That's how much You mean To Me

It's hard to remember
As long as You're Away
When I find solace
There's only ONe Way...

(..... wishing I could hear this in the future... i'm such a hopeless-romantic :-)
evan&jaron- THE DISTANCE

stunning

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Other side


We cannot meet halfway. Your mind is somewhere else. When I touch you, you're just not there. I cannot stand playing your games.
When you left I was standing here still. When I was alone, I wish you could come. But the hours grew to weeks and what is left of me is nothing but waste.
I want to stay beside you I swear but it's not fair anymore. Your selfish ways are beyond tolerable. And I started to fall for someone else.
Let us be fine and let me pass your ghost. I deserve to be happy. Can you just be happy for me?

Facebook


You keep on hurting and hurting and hurting me.
You don't know anything else but throw fire at me.
Can't you see I am enjoying my time today so please just stay away.
Don't keep messing up my mind because I started to be alright.


Stop saying and spilling lies at me,
I've known everything else before they came to surface.
Stop feeding me with black mails and drama
Can't you see I am beginning to see light.


I don't want to cry for you.
I want to sleep tonight.
So just leave baby,
Don't ruin my life.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

addicted

Tell me why I still do the things I always do? Forgive me for the fix today my mouth was dry and the blanket was too short to cover my feet. You passed by like a ghost and left a indelible ink all over the place. Strange things happen for a reason and the weatherman failed to tell what awaits tomorrow. I will bring my umbrella and my suntan lotion. I am about to lose my mind.

Don't be mad at me. Please don't give me that face and lower the tone of your voice. I couldn't afford to lose. I was weak. But I don't regret it.

Beautiful Day

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Birds


Someday I will understand this. How all of these will make sense one day.

I sat there waiting at the roadside with my suitcases all over the place. Breathing slowly, excited and nervous for something I don't know. I prefer to stay where I am, no longer asking nor expecting. I am happy. I feel peace. I don't need explanations. I can read directions.

The sky is blue. And the color red remains red. My friends still loves me and music makes me feel good. I found happiness in simple things and I am just fine with that.


I realized it's not so bad to want nothing. It's okay to just stop fighting for things you don't get and just let the wind takes you wherever.

I had ice cream for dinner two nights in a row. It makes me happy. It doesn't make me cry. I only get fat. Who cares? It doesn't show.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Lights are Shining For Me


Six in the morning I took the Metro. I have never been to that place nor have met any of them. I just told myself that I need to getaway. There were about fifteen strangers and two others like me. A feather floating by and waiting for the wind to take me. The desert was hot but not as hot as I had expected. The lights on their faces were enough to convince me that everything is going to be alright.

I stood there for a couple of minutes which felt like eternity. And the flashes of colors somehow changed how I used to feel. The morning sun became a haze of smoke and eventually to rain. And when it touches my skin I couldn't feel anymore better. They felt like tears.

They changed my face and twisted my body in small packages of glamour. And when I looked at the girl in the mirror she just came back to life.
I was exhausted for the day and took the longest bath.

When evening fell I think about you. It's not the French guy nor the Italian. They sing to my ears and they dance like midnight train. But I don't have anything left to feel. I chose to be cold for a while. To stop feeling there's something more. Keep my distance and preserve me.

Maybe you don't know that. I shouldn't tell-- that , I miss everything about you.

How your hair falls to your face, and your eyes, the kindest that I have ever seen.

In all the faces of the strangers I meet every day, you left a mark and hoping that someday you will find me.

Friday, April 15, 2011

If I can Undo Your Past


A million little words still echoes like thunder waves inside my head. Sometimes I still hopelessly wish I heard you say the other way around. They never existed- that we had this conversation a long time ago, in the same world and time frame.

He calls in the middle of the night, during those times when he needed my company but I know better now. The whirlwind romance gone too soon. The mindless talks just to ask the mundane things. Was it three o'clock or seven perhaps and the sun is about to set in your own sky. Driving past my driveway like a hundred years already passed.

I was thinking of you most of the time. Your name brings a tickle in my skin whenever somebody mentions it. I am falling slowly, and yet again another brick wall. I cannot climb you anymore. The pavement awaits me. And surely when I hit it, my head will not only bleed... it's my heart.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

In a Night Like This


I spent the whole day with you. And yet all I hear was nothing but silence. We drove past the familiar places and ate in our favorite restaurant. You did not even fixed your hair. And you wore the old Armani shirt we bought together. The Diesel jeans you wore already faded but somehow managed to brag about you new Louis Vuitton shoes. I was surprised, you just told me you bought some shirts at Burberry. Who is she? Why the sudden impulse in designer brands? Is she screaming Gucci from head to toe?

You looked at me in deep thought as I lost my stare from the distance between us. You asked where had I been. I smiled and held your hand. We just ran out of things to talk about since that day you decided to live in secrets. You touched my hair and held me close like we were alone in the world. But all I can see is her face in your eyes and how you don't feel sorry for me.

You kissed me. I let you. You untied the laces and you unravel them. I miss the tenderness of your breathing and yet I felt so wrong. I was dead there as you moved and I watched how all the lights disappear.
The mobile phone started ringing. Why did she call at one am? Don't leave yet, I have so much things to ask of you first. But even before a word comes out you were gone again...