Friday, January 30, 2015
My heart is only yours...
There were days when it gets really hard. There were even nights when I just cry my eyes out. Motherhood comes without a manual. Unlike my cousins who hired two nannies to help them out, I decided to do everything by myself. I want to challenge myself since I did not push my baby out of my lady bits; sort of I wanted to punish myself for missing the most magical event of the woman giving birth the natural way. And here I am still grasping for air after almost two months. But one thing's change I feel almost floating in cloud nine whenever my little one smiles and laughs at me whenever I look completely helpless and sometimes paranoid. I forget how tired I am almost instantly. How come this little creature can occupy so much space in my heart? I am so in love.
Certainly, there were times as well when I ask myself when will I go back to work? I kinda miss living in a suitcase. However the thought of leaving my precious bebe in the care of someone else terrifies me. He couldn't even last an hour without me by his side. I kinda feel like he knows where mommy is; when he no longer smells my natural milk-y almost like condensed milk -smell he will cry his lungs out ( yeah) and all hell breaks loose. So maybe coming back to work is not gonna happen anytime soon. I need to focus on bringing up bebe while putting myself back together. I started working out. I do yoga and a little bit cross fit. I started watching what I eat too. It really saddens me seeing my tummy without its glory. haha. And so waking up 4 am is my go-to schedule and by 7 pm me and Sasha are already singing lullaby to one another.
There's this one quote from Ashton Kutcher that perfectly describes motherhood or parenthood...
Certainly, there were times as well when I ask myself when will I go back to work? I kinda miss living in a suitcase. However the thought of leaving my precious bebe in the care of someone else terrifies me. He couldn't even last an hour without me by his side. I kinda feel like he knows where mommy is; when he no longer smells my natural milk-y almost like condensed milk -smell he will cry his lungs out ( yeah) and all hell breaks loose. So maybe coming back to work is not gonna happen anytime soon. I need to focus on bringing up bebe while putting myself back together. I started working out. I do yoga and a little bit cross fit. I started watching what I eat too. It really saddens me seeing my tummy without its glory. haha. And so waking up 4 am is my go-to schedule and by 7 pm me and Sasha are already singing lullaby to one another.
There's this one quote from Ashton Kutcher that perfectly describes motherhood or parenthood...
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
#motherhood
Sometimes I just want to pinch myself just to check if I am just dreaming. It's almost two months now since I gave birth to one healthy and beautiful baby boy. Still can't believe he really is mine and I'm his "mom".
Aside from the never-ending housework and sleepless nights I am over the moon in-love with this little angel. There were days when all I did was stare at his face and my heart just melts together with the amount of fatigue my whole body is suffering from. I love him with all my heart and I am in constant awe with this magical and almost surreal change in my life.
True it's not easy. For first time mom like me, I found breastfeeding probably more painful than child birth. I am one of the unlucky few who suffered breast engorgement. It's the most excruciating pain I had experienced so far! When your boobs are as hard as rocks and your nipples are blood-stained and dry while your little angel continue to suckle out of hunger I can't help myself but cry and asked my husband to pull my hair just to divert the pain. It lasted for a week or two while my tummy is still healing from a c-section. Oh yeah my little man is only 6. 4 lbs but I had a last minute change in birth plan in which I am going to tell later.
I managed to lose 20 pounds one month postpartum but I still have another 20 more to burn before I reach my pre-pregnancy body. I know it's not gonna be a piece of cake nor an impossible goal to achieve.
Right now normal is sleeping at 8 pm and waking up at 12 midnight, 3 am, 445, 555, then 625 then going down for breakfast and voila--- boobie time- poop- sleep-boobie time-poop repeat til 8pm then repeat. Oh sweet life.
And I still manage to function more or less like a human only looking like a little zombie-ish during the first 3 weeks.
And oh how I suddenly have enormous boobs! got milk? I. Sure. Do.
Aside from the never-ending housework and sleepless nights I am over the moon in-love with this little angel. There were days when all I did was stare at his face and my heart just melts together with the amount of fatigue my whole body is suffering from. I love him with all my heart and I am in constant awe with this magical and almost surreal change in my life.
True it's not easy. For first time mom like me, I found breastfeeding probably more painful than child birth. I am one of the unlucky few who suffered breast engorgement. It's the most excruciating pain I had experienced so far! When your boobs are as hard as rocks and your nipples are blood-stained and dry while your little angel continue to suckle out of hunger I can't help myself but cry and asked my husband to pull my hair just to divert the pain. It lasted for a week or two while my tummy is still healing from a c-section. Oh yeah my little man is only 6. 4 lbs but I had a last minute change in birth plan in which I am going to tell later.
I managed to lose 20 pounds one month postpartum but I still have another 20 more to burn before I reach my pre-pregnancy body. I know it's not gonna be a piece of cake nor an impossible goal to achieve.
Right now normal is sleeping at 8 pm and waking up at 12 midnight, 3 am, 445, 555, then 625 then going down for breakfast and voila--- boobie time- poop- sleep-boobie time-poop repeat til 8pm then repeat. Oh sweet life.
And I still manage to function more or less like a human only looking like a little zombie-ish during the first 3 weeks.
And oh how I suddenly have enormous boobs! got milk? I. Sure. Do.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
New Mom
Oh my...
This is my chance I have maybe 60seconds before my newborn wakes up. I have tons of stories to tell already written as draft but never managed to publish thinking the content may not be appropriate or adequate to be considered as post.
This is my life now. The life of a multi-tasker. A one-hand machine running nonstop sometimes without food nor sleep. A superwoman I started calling myself. I think all moms are superwoman. I never thought I would say this until I experienced it myself. Its overwhelming in the beginning but seeing my beautiful child, so tiny sleeping soundly in his crib I realized this is meant to be.
This is my chance I have maybe 60seconds before my newborn wakes up. I have tons of stories to tell already written as draft but never managed to publish thinking the content may not be appropriate or adequate to be considered as post.
This is my life now. The life of a multi-tasker. A one-hand machine running nonstop sometimes without food nor sleep. A superwoman I started calling myself. I think all moms are superwoman. I never thought I would say this until I experienced it myself. Its overwhelming in the beginning but seeing my beautiful child, so tiny sleeping soundly in his crib I realized this is meant to be.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
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