Saturday, November 29, 2014
dilation and effacement
"In my mind, I already killed you three times!"...
Forgive me for my violent thoughts. But it's just so hard to control my rage nowadays. I pray earnestly to give me peace while I feel this incredibly sluggish. The sleeping beauty spell is still very much on and my crappy mood came back with a vengeance. These last few weeks of pregnancy is bittersweet. I love hugging my bump ( as if I can literally hug my bump... I can't even reach my toes let alone see them) but being this huge has its dark alleys. And the crying lady for some reason crawl her way to mess up my character. I don't know why. But these past few nights before bed me and bebe started having dramatic dialogues while watching DVF on E!. I feel emotional, me against the world and vice-versa kind-of-way! I cry myself to sleep clutching my belly. Ugly swollen eyes waking me up the next day. My bladder feeling like its shrunk 10 times. Bathroom breaks is now reaching twenty gazillion times each day.
On a positive note, my body is phenomenal. Like how our body knows what needs to be done in order to breathe, I believe that our body knows how to prepare itself for the D-day as well. Last week's appointment my OB told me that My cervix is already effaced. I still feel shy being checked down there. And yesterday she told my I am already 2-3 cm dilated. Holy cow! She believes everything is going to be easy for me. Although I feel like a whale most of the time, she assured me that me and bebe are both in excellent health. Sometimes people get surprised when they find out I am carrying a boy. One old wive's tale say carrying boys make the mommy ugly. Super darkened underarms and neck, dark spots in the face and tomato-like noses emerging like Shrek's. Oh well thanks for telling me I am no way close to looking like Shrek in this pregnancy. My bebe is such a good boy. He listens to mommy. And we take care of each other. Only this time, if bebe wants a cookie at 2am he makes it a point he will get it by kicking me so hard I could literally feel his tiny fist. But overall, I can feel his love and obedience and his excitement to meet everyone.
I can give birth any moment now. I still feel like doing some light weights but I worry bebe will come out before daddy arrives so better just catch more snoozin' like I haven't slept in a hundred years.
Now I want a giant pepperoni pizza. Daaaaaaaad!!!! Please get me one!!!!
Forgive me for my violent thoughts. But it's just so hard to control my rage nowadays. I pray earnestly to give me peace while I feel this incredibly sluggish. The sleeping beauty spell is still very much on and my crappy mood came back with a vengeance. These last few weeks of pregnancy is bittersweet. I love hugging my bump ( as if I can literally hug my bump... I can't even reach my toes let alone see them) but being this huge has its dark alleys. And the crying lady for some reason crawl her way to mess up my character. I don't know why. But these past few nights before bed me and bebe started having dramatic dialogues while watching DVF on E!. I feel emotional, me against the world and vice-versa kind-of-way! I cry myself to sleep clutching my belly. Ugly swollen eyes waking me up the next day. My bladder feeling like its shrunk 10 times. Bathroom breaks is now reaching twenty gazillion times each day.
On a positive note, my body is phenomenal. Like how our body knows what needs to be done in order to breathe, I believe that our body knows how to prepare itself for the D-day as well. Last week's appointment my OB told me that My cervix is already effaced. I still feel shy being checked down there. And yesterday she told my I am already 2-3 cm dilated. Holy cow! She believes everything is going to be easy for me. Although I feel like a whale most of the time, she assured me that me and bebe are both in excellent health. Sometimes people get surprised when they find out I am carrying a boy. One old wive's tale say carrying boys make the mommy ugly. Super darkened underarms and neck, dark spots in the face and tomato-like noses emerging like Shrek's. Oh well thanks for telling me I am no way close to looking like Shrek in this pregnancy. My bebe is such a good boy. He listens to mommy. And we take care of each other. Only this time, if bebe wants a cookie at 2am he makes it a point he will get it by kicking me so hard I could literally feel his tiny fist. But overall, I can feel his love and obedience and his excitement to meet everyone.
I can give birth any moment now. I still feel like doing some light weights but I worry bebe will come out before daddy arrives so better just catch more snoozin' like I haven't slept in a hundred years.
Now I want a giant pepperoni pizza. Daaaaaaaad!!!! Please get me one!!!!
Monday, November 17, 2014
Wake up sleepy head
What is going on? I feel so sleepy that I can hardly move any muscle. I just want to... zzz
I've been warned not to sleep too much in the afternoon if I still want to keep track of my weight and bebe's. But this has been my constant struggle for days now. Even after having breakfast I just feel like I want to crawl back into bed. I could put the blame on that Anti-hyper intensive pills my OB gave me. It soothes me in a way that I feel like even the most uncomfortable seat is a water bed. And my bebe seems to enjoy this feeling too, punching me in the most bizarre body parts. So I spend most of my afternoons studying Russian and Ukranian languages. I love every moment of it. I feel a little bit prouder this time because I have been a very consistent student. I can read and write and speak so much better now. Sometimes when I come across some Italian and French words it surprises me that I still know them. I feel like I should have taken a double major way back in College. It would have been such great accomplishment to be multilingual. I can't help it --- to dream and plan what I want to do next. I'm in-love with foreign language and yoga. And traveling is my second nature. At the same time I am really so much motivated to start putting up my own business. Right now I still have so many free time in my hands. I guess I 'll see how it goes once bebe is born.
This edema thingy is putting a toll in my body big time. My feet hurts. I feel like they are as heavy as a baby elephant's feet. And my fingers are sausage-like and they hurt too. I can't remove my rings and they are sucking the blood out of my middle and ring fingers. I should have listened to my friends to remove them early on. Too late now.
I spent one weekend hitching in my brother's prenup photoshoot. I was fortunate to get a nice deal for my own maternity photoshoot. Can't wait for my hubby to do it since I might give birth any time soon and I just want to capture this beautiful bump before it becomes "abs". Hehe. We had a great location. We spent an entire day doing makeup, outfit and location changes. And so when I reached home we were completely exhausted. First time I went to bed at 9pm. The next day I decided to forget walking for an hour since my bed won't let go of me. I will try to double my efforts next time.
I want to get back into my pre-pregnancy body ASAP. But there are times when my brain tries to trick me into making a list of things I want to reward myself with once I graduated this stage in my life with flying colors. I'm dying to indulge in a gallon of Coffee Crumble Ice cream, Red Velvet cheesecakes and Bistro Shrimp Pasta and loads and loads of sushi.
On second thought...maybe I 'll just go straight to Jillian Michael.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Nesting
" How are you? "
" I am doing fine, " And so much better I guess now is an understatement. I am no longer that much "hormotional" although I can still be a little bit irritating and equally easily irritated. But my state of mind is more stable nowadays.
I am still re-doing our small nursery for Bebe. I am considering to do the walls. Unfortunately nobody will allow me to paint and I don't want anybody to do it for me so I guess I will stick to wallpaper. I want to do some DIY too to give extra colors in his room. So tomorrow will definitely be another nesting day. Started cleaning and polishing since last week. I try to catch my breath and rest in between. My workout routine has been consistent only today I missed it since I am doing the christmas decorations in the house for the 2nd time. And man, I am really enjoying this. I am certainly having enough of the Kardashians on E! That I'd rather listen to Russian nursery rhymes.
I already reached my maximum allowable weight gain and yet my friends and family think I still look small. "Thank you" is my polite response. But I keep telling my hubby that I walk now like a penguin. And my sweet love immediately comforts me by saying he always wanted a penguin and now he has one. Haha. I can't help but reminisce the times we stop by Ski Dubai and watch the Penguins play in the snow. I can imagine myself in there.
Aside from all of these preparations, me and my bebe tend to snooze a lot. I don't know. I just feel so sleepy during the day but can't sleep at night. It's like my body clock is in a different time zone.
I fell asleep just waiting for the microwave to finish reheating lunch. I feel asleep right after I took shower. And yet at night 2am is still a battlefield to get in the most comfortable position.
As I've said, childbirth is like preparing for a marathon. And watching birth videos which used to freak me out is now a hobby I enjoy doing before lounging myself in bed at wee hours of the night. I pray for strength and endurance like those women I've seen. I pray for safe, easy and short labor and delivery.
Oh little man... We're almost there..
I always love Christmas decorating. ..
" I am doing fine, " And so much better I guess now is an understatement. I am no longer that much "hormotional" although I can still be a little bit irritating and equally easily irritated. But my state of mind is more stable nowadays.
I am still re-doing our small nursery for Bebe. I am considering to do the walls. Unfortunately nobody will allow me to paint and I don't want anybody to do it for me so I guess I will stick to wallpaper. I want to do some DIY too to give extra colors in his room. So tomorrow will definitely be another nesting day. Started cleaning and polishing since last week. I try to catch my breath and rest in between. My workout routine has been consistent only today I missed it since I am doing the christmas decorations in the house for the 2nd time. And man, I am really enjoying this. I am certainly having enough of the Kardashians on E! That I'd rather listen to Russian nursery rhymes.
I already reached my maximum allowable weight gain and yet my friends and family think I still look small. "Thank you" is my polite response. But I keep telling my hubby that I walk now like a penguin. And my sweet love immediately comforts me by saying he always wanted a penguin and now he has one. Haha. I can't help but reminisce the times we stop by Ski Dubai and watch the Penguins play in the snow. I can imagine myself in there.
Aside from all of these preparations, me and my bebe tend to snooze a lot. I don't know. I just feel so sleepy during the day but can't sleep at night. It's like my body clock is in a different time zone.
I fell asleep just waiting for the microwave to finish reheating lunch. I feel asleep right after I took shower. And yet at night 2am is still a battlefield to get in the most comfortable position.
As I've said, childbirth is like preparing for a marathon. And watching birth videos which used to freak me out is now a hobby I enjoy doing before lounging myself in bed at wee hours of the night. I pray for strength and endurance like those women I've seen. I pray for safe, easy and short labor and delivery.
Oh little man... We're almost there..
A few more weeks to bake...so i took my time to party last weekend...
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Changes
I can't believe to finally admit this, but the temperature here is getting better. Oh lala! It's getting cooler here in the side of the Philippines. Believe it or not. I don't sweat as much and I can switch off the AC from time to time. This is such an improvement.
Feeling heavier by the week as my due date is approaching. I started plotting my days 'til my bebe arrives. I just don't know who's going to come first, the hubby or the bebe. But I really hope hubby comes first and bebe will come out a week after that just to give us time to unwind our last few days as a couple without a child. But if bebe decides to come out anytime after he's considered full term I would be as delighted.
Spell Edema. Gosh. I thought I would be one of those lucky few who will skip it. My feet are swollen like big fat ginger. Nothing of my shoes will ever fit. I bought a new pair and it looks ugly on those empanada-like feet that are hardly recognizable. And thunder thighs and ankles. Forgive me. I will stick to long and spacious maxi-dresses for now to give me some space to move around. Never mind the tights and leggings. No hope.
Sleep is a miracle when they come easy. My little love enjoys pinching mommy every moment of the day or night. I could actually feel my internal organs shaking. In fact last night I feel like a bubble tea whenever I change sleep positions. Bebe will move making the other side light and the other bumpy. Haha. It's really fascinating to feel a real live human being inside of you. It's undeniable that you are certainly not alone.
Done with the hospital bag prep. Hopefully this time, no more trips to emergency room before I reached my 37th week. Done with the diaper bag too. I decided to separate them since there's just too much to bring and I don't want to risk not having items I need when we need them. I want us to be both ready and hubby too to be well-equipped when the labor and delivery time happen.
I'm pretty much just counting down the days. But I decided to keep myself occupied. Thank goodness that November is such a busy month for birthdays and events. Although it's harder to move around since I get tired quickly I prefer to be busy rather than sitting all day watching tv. Remembering how this gestational hypertension attacked me just when I was just lying lazily on a sunday afternoon watching gorgeous men and women with their throat being slit like animals. I have tons of reading materials to finish, a nursery and a room to re-decorate and planning the first few months of 2015. I am OCD Capricorn.
I am beyond excited for this new stage in my life. Holding my precious baby in my arms and having my hubby with me in all these important holidays ahead.
I realized how hard and wonderful it is to carry a child. I salute all the mothers and the mom-to be out there.
Feeling heavier by the week as my due date is approaching. I started plotting my days 'til my bebe arrives. I just don't know who's going to come first, the hubby or the bebe. But I really hope hubby comes first and bebe will come out a week after that just to give us time to unwind our last few days as a couple without a child. But if bebe decides to come out anytime after he's considered full term I would be as delighted.
Spell Edema. Gosh. I thought I would be one of those lucky few who will skip it. My feet are swollen like big fat ginger. Nothing of my shoes will ever fit. I bought a new pair and it looks ugly on those empanada-like feet that are hardly recognizable. And thunder thighs and ankles. Forgive me. I will stick to long and spacious maxi-dresses for now to give me some space to move around. Never mind the tights and leggings. No hope. Sleep is a miracle when they come easy. My little love enjoys pinching mommy every moment of the day or night. I could actually feel my internal organs shaking. In fact last night I feel like a bubble tea whenever I change sleep positions. Bebe will move making the other side light and the other bumpy. Haha. It's really fascinating to feel a real live human being inside of you. It's undeniable that you are certainly not alone.
Done with the hospital bag prep. Hopefully this time, no more trips to emergency room before I reached my 37th week. Done with the diaper bag too. I decided to separate them since there's just too much to bring and I don't want to risk not having items I need when we need them. I want us to be both ready and hubby too to be well-equipped when the labor and delivery time happen.
I'm pretty much just counting down the days. But I decided to keep myself occupied. Thank goodness that November is such a busy month for birthdays and events. Although it's harder to move around since I get tired quickly I prefer to be busy rather than sitting all day watching tv. Remembering how this gestational hypertension attacked me just when I was just lying lazily on a sunday afternoon watching gorgeous men and women with their throat being slit like animals. I have tons of reading materials to finish, a nursery and a room to re-decorate and planning the first few months of 2015. I am OCD Capricorn.
I am beyond excited for this new stage in my life. Holding my precious baby in my arms and having my hubby with me in all these important holidays ahead.
I realized how hard and wonderful it is to carry a child. I salute all the mothers and the mom-to be out there.
Friday, October 31, 2014
I'm finally getting back on my feet. As much as I want to write I just couldn't. I never thought watching Game of Thrones can cause Gestational hypertension. So I was rushed to the hospital last Sunday. Believe it or not after seeing Rob Stark being killed in Season 3 my heart started beating crazily and my head started spinning out of control. It was a scary moment for me. I thought I wouldn't see the light of day. Thank God that we are okay now and my little sweet love remains inside my tummy for a couple of weeks more of baking. I didn't feel the painful preterm labor. It just so happened that I was the only one feeling the rush of blood and my baby is safe.
And so the hubby forbid me to watch any more Game of Thrones.
I'm taking extra care. Bebe is growing and the weight really is not easy to carry for a skinny girl like me. He's moving a lot making his presence felt all the time. He's one really precious active and joyful child and I am so excited to meet him soon.
I'm preparing the little nursery for him. And at the same time my hubby's arrival. Time flies so fast...
I pray for easy and safe delivery for my bebe. The waiting game is almost here. God bless me and my lovely child... :-)
And so the hubby forbid me to watch any more Game of Thrones.
I'm taking extra care. Bebe is growing and the weight really is not easy to carry for a skinny girl like me. He's moving a lot making his presence felt all the time. He's one really precious active and joyful child and I am so excited to meet him soon.
I'm preparing the little nursery for him. And at the same time my hubby's arrival. Time flies so fast...
I pray for easy and safe delivery for my bebe. The waiting game is almost here. God bless me and my lovely child... :-)
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Oh I miss you more than Paris and New York...
See u in my dreams tonight...
xoxo
Looking Ahead
So I finally finished my baby shopping extravaganza. And yet, I am having the itch to go to the mall tomorrow since my Dad is going to spend his weekend in Baguio, my aunt will be busy with her friends which only mean one thing: I have the entire house for myself and just the household help. It's just so tempting to have a break from feeling preggy and just spend some time alone with myself and bebe while the mom-in me gets busy buying stuff for herself. I have the whole night to consider if I really want to go.
Anyway, I loved every single moment in Baby stores. The stuff are so freaking adorable. I just don't like the fact that with baby boy you only have options to buy their stuff in blue. I wish baby products come with more color varieties, like green, red, orange, purple ( yeah purple i think still suits baby boys) , aqua and other shades of blue. The onesies are so cute. I can't help but buy tons which in reality my bebe will only use them for a good three months or less. Oh well.
I am in serious chocolate deprivation these past few weeks. I am actually dying inside. My OB told me to resist the urge for sweets since it causes infection. I just finished my one-week therapy for UTI. And she's begging me to keep my weight off since bebe is growing one pound per week and I would not like ending up like a Hippo at the end of this pregnancy. Sleeping on the side is getting harder. Leg cramps galore! In fact I was screaming in pain last night since my leg was cramping like I will actually lose them. It was 2 am. And yeah, unfortunately I can't go back to sleep anymore. My little love loves to play. And he's making Mommy up all night
I am suddenly becoming a monk because it looks like I took a vow of silence. The moment my cargo box arrive from Dubai a couple of days back I got into desperate liking of catching up with my reading. I forgot about the TV and the internet. And I hardly speak to anyone. I was just happily immersed in my own thoughts, plans and dreams for the future. With days going slowly like a snail reading makes the waiting game so much bearable. I can't believe it's going to be November next week!!! Yey!!!!!!
Right now I just want a brownie. Or maybe two.
I deserve a brownie for studying hard these past few days. But I have my check up on Saturday and I don't want to be reprimanded.
Oh a pregnant girl can dream...
Monday, October 20, 2014
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Pop
So my good friend just gave birth a few hours ago... Man... it's gonna be my turn very soon...
I am anxious, nervous and excited. She managed to have normal delivery even when her baby is big.
I hope and pray all things will run smoothly when my time comes.
It's really hard being away from the hubby and having no mommy. If only my mom were still alive things are definitely much much easier and happier here.
Still can't sleep at night.
I running low on happy hormones.
I get tired easily.
Anyway...
Here are some very helpful reads that are keeping me sane.
16 Rich Habits
(I am almost there... I guess... I need to improve my habits more...)
Bringing Up Bebe
( No need to Buy the Book.. just read it here)
Been contemplating about the design for my Bridesmaid gown for my Brother's wedding... Hope this one will fit... the Blue dress or this one dress number 2
I hope and pray all things will run smoothly when my time comes.
It's really hard being away from the hubby and having no mommy. If only my mom were still alive things are definitely much much easier and happier here.
Still can't sleep at night.
I running low on happy hormones.
I get tired easily.
Anyway...
Here are some very helpful reads that are keeping me sane.
16 Rich Habits
(I am almost there... I guess... I need to improve my habits more...)
Bringing Up Bebe
( No need to Buy the Book.. just read it here)
Been contemplating about the design for my Bridesmaid gown for my Brother's wedding... Hope this one will fit... the Blue dress or this one dress number 2
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Confessions
Long time, no post.
Been rather busy with the most trivial stuff and the heavyness of my very pregnant belly.
Rainy day Wednesday, when it was excruciatingly hot and sunny a couple of days back. I am certainly convinced that the weather has lost its mind. It's just insane. I am petrified of Dengue. With the rainshowers every now and then it's very obvious that the itchiness is not coming from the pregnancy but from these very annoying blood-sucking mosquitoes that are multiplying by day.
It's really fascinating how my mood changes. I've been up all night for several times now. Staring at the flicker of light coming from the balcony, carefully listening to the cats irritating cries and there I was curled up like a ball with my mind filled with worry and fear, -waiting for the husband to come home when there's a four-hour difference that I am trying to accept lightly. But mostly, I ended up dozing by 2 am since hubby always comes late from work. We promise to watsapp every single day. I worry too much about so many things. I want to be a cool mom and the hot wifey to the hubby. But looking at my reflection nowadays can sometimes bring tears to my eyes when nothing of my old clothes seem to fit anymore. I used to be size zero or 2. Forget it. And how I 'm dying to do my roots. My hair has lost its luster. I am always in a ponytail with no make up on,because it's just too freaking hot here! I miss the glamour of red lipstick and my 3-inch stilletoes. I fear about the baby weight. I am anxious about how to take good care of the bebe while keeping the mystery and spice of our marriage. There's just so many things that's going on in my mind right now. Pregnancy by itself is a life-changing experience. The bebe hasn't arrive yet and here I am never been so lost in my entire life.
Hubby always tells me to just enjoy and savor this moment because I will miss it. But one thing for sure, If I will get pregnant again I will make sure that we will not be separated, that we will be together in the same time zone ( at least). It's different being with the husband than being with my parents and relatives. I am surrounded by people but I have never felt this much lonely. I'd rather sit all day alone in the house and knowing later he will come home to me. Once the woman gets married everything changes. Her priorities and her dreams most especially.
Last week bebe started developing his ears so I make sure to talk to him and read to him and play classical music every night before bed. My little love seem to enjoy it very much that his kicks sometimes surprise the hell out of me. They are strong and violent in a way that makes me wonder what my little love is actually up to inside my belly. I love him so much now. I can't wait to smell him and kiss him when he's finally here. And yet there were nights when it gets overwhelming. I cry myself to sleep waiting for hubby to be home. Singing to bebe and wishing I can hold his tiny hands for comfort. It's like I am PMS-ing 10thousand times worse. And the next day I prefer to just be quiet and read. I don't want to see anybody and I don't want to have friendly talk with anyone. It's a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Last Sunday I was trying to do my pedicure but I cannot even reach my toes anymore. I was trying to sweep the floor but I suddenly felt like I was running out of breath. But I thank God for my skin and my feet. No stretchmarks and no swelling. My feet still looks normal and my skin still looks divine. I can still smile looking at my naked pregnant body.
A few more weeks my love...
A few more weeks...
Yes, I am still scared, anxious and filled with worry. But at the same time excited.
I always wanted to be a mom. I always wanted to be a wife to someone. It's my dream to have my own family, to have a really nice place filled with people I love to come home to...
Been rather busy with the most trivial stuff and the heavyness of my very pregnant belly.
Rainy day Wednesday, when it was excruciatingly hot and sunny a couple of days back. I am certainly convinced that the weather has lost its mind. It's just insane. I am petrified of Dengue. With the rainshowers every now and then it's very obvious that the itchiness is not coming from the pregnancy but from these very annoying blood-sucking mosquitoes that are multiplying by day.
It's really fascinating how my mood changes. I've been up all night for several times now. Staring at the flicker of light coming from the balcony, carefully listening to the cats irritating cries and there I was curled up like a ball with my mind filled with worry and fear, -waiting for the husband to come home when there's a four-hour difference that I am trying to accept lightly. But mostly, I ended up dozing by 2 am since hubby always comes late from work. We promise to watsapp every single day. I worry too much about so many things. I want to be a cool mom and the hot wifey to the hubby. But looking at my reflection nowadays can sometimes bring tears to my eyes when nothing of my old clothes seem to fit anymore. I used to be size zero or 2. Forget it. And how I 'm dying to do my roots. My hair has lost its luster. I am always in a ponytail with no make up on,
Hubby always tells me to just enjoy and savor this moment because I will miss it. But one thing for sure, If I will get pregnant again I will make sure that we will not be separated, that we will be together in the same time zone ( at least). It's different being with the husband than being with my parents and relatives. I am surrounded by people but I have never felt this much lonely. I'd rather sit all day alone in the house and knowing later he will come home to me. Once the woman gets married everything changes. Her priorities and her dreams most especially.
Last week bebe started developing his ears so I make sure to talk to him and read to him and play classical music every night before bed. My little love seem to enjoy it very much that his kicks sometimes surprise the hell out of me. They are strong and violent in a way that makes me wonder what my little love is actually up to inside my belly. I love him so much now. I can't wait to smell him and kiss him when he's finally here. And yet there were nights when it gets overwhelming. I cry myself to sleep waiting for hubby to be home. Singing to bebe and wishing I can hold his tiny hands for comfort. It's like I am PMS-ing 10thousand times worse. And the next day I prefer to just be quiet and read. I don't want to see anybody and I don't want to have friendly talk with anyone. It's a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Last Sunday I was trying to do my pedicure but I cannot even reach my toes anymore. I was trying to sweep the floor but I suddenly felt like I was running out of breath. But I thank God for my skin and my feet. No stretchmarks and no swelling. My feet still looks normal and my skin still looks divine. I can still smile looking at my naked pregnant body.
A few more weeks my love...
A few more weeks...
Yes, I am still scared, anxious and filled with worry. But at the same time excited.
I always wanted to be a mom. I always wanted to be a wife to someone. It's my dream to have my own family, to have a really nice place filled with people I love to come home to...
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
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