If we Only LIVE Once...

I wanna LIVE with you...

White lies

He + she

It's hard to pretend that you like someone when in reality all you want to do is avoid them as much as you can. And seeing him with your friend breaks your heart a little. You can't do much about it if she still wants to continue being with him. Oh man. Creeps are just about everywhere. I don't care if you have MBA or a PhD. What matters is what you do when no one's looking. Deep within those layers of clothes I can see you inside. Deuche bag. I would not consider being with someone who is more vain than me. He will not please anybody but himself. Even a slight sign of interest he can't give. He's bored to death with our conversation. Is there a funny bone at least inside that lifeless soul of his? I wish them the best in life. I have no right to judge. It's just me being brutally honest.

Gone are the days when I used to just fantasize being with a man who is rich enough to take me on a holiday in his private jet. I will get automatically mesmerized by his model-like features. He will shower me with expensive gifts. He speaks fluent French, German and Italian. Because In reality he doesn't exists. Or maybe his kind are somewhere out there. That kind of man is only available in a catalogue. And He's emotionally shutdown, being all "George Clooney" to you.

In the end what a woman needs is a man who will be there for her. The One who will love her cellulites, and all when the honeymoon stage is over. A man who will listen to her rant and rave about her day. Good looks only comes as a bonus. He doesn't have need to be the CEO . As long as he has passion, goals, dreams. He works hard. And his happiness comes from making you happy. He listens and kisses you when you had a rough day. He parades you in front of his friends like you're his most valuable possession. He makes plan with you for the future. He calls when he says he will. You don't need to ask where he is or who's with him. He tells you by default. He enjoys cuddling under the covers and rubs and kisses your feet when you're cold. And he's real.

We don't need a man who just looks good on the outside, with his Ferrari and his Black American Express but inside he can't offer the basics for a happy ,healthy and nurturing relationship .

Some women can live with just money and no love. A hot body and lustful lifestyle.
But who are they kidding?

You don’t choose who you fall in love with, do you? And once you do fall in love—that obsessive sort of love, that all-consuming love, where two people can’t stand to be apart from each other for even a moment—how are you supposed to let a love like that pass you by?

-the wolf of Wall Street

Hello Switzerland ;-)

LOL parody vs.original

 

You have to be Kind To Yourself

You have to stop believing that you need other people’s permission to be okay with yourself.

That however you do or don’t align with what other people value determines your worth. That however the world does or doesn’t show you kindness is a direct reflection of how much you deserve it.

You have to be kind to yourself.

Even, and probably most especially, when it seems least deserved.

- Brianna Wiest
---www.tinaenad.com

Jealousy...

Is not a positive feeling.
Yikes.
What is going on with me? I just got back from New York. The flight going was a brutal 14-hour flight and  had major delay once we reached JFK. First time doing New York that I just  grab a quick bite at a nearby Chinese Bistro and went straight to bed. 'Been dying to try the cupcakes at Crumbs but my insides were protesting. I went to sleep with dreams of red velvet frosting and chocolate frappuccino.

I went healthy food shopping in Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. Still the cruel winter approached us wickedly. Come on Spring! Come now! I want to do some worthy sight-seeing soon!

I was really happy going back to work, like nothing happened except for the fact that I couldn't eat almost anything in the aircraft. I just had a feast of green salad and Chia-seeds filled mineral water the whole time. Honestly, it's making me feel depressed. It's been a week or so without any trace of chocolate or artificial sugar running through my veins. I am a sweet girl ( literally) no more. I am nothing but a health freak.

And my own Facebook feeds are kinda depressing too.
I am feeling lost. Where am I going? Why am I suddenly feeling like an outcast? I feel neglected.

"Comparing yourself to others is an ultimate joy stealer".
   I am guilty.

I need to stop getting too involved in other people's lives. I have my own. I need to stop comparing notes. I have to kick these blues away without resorting to sugar coma.

I am acknowleding my sadness today instead of pretending that everything's alright.

I have a big reserve of positive thoughts ...it's just today... I just want to SIGH...

Whatever the hell is Emu eggs? @ whole foods

It's huge and heavy ...
It's green and hard to break...
Is this a baby dinosaur egg?
Weird.

:-)

Post Op My Insides

    Finally had a decent lovely meal after almost two weeks of pretending to be all-like-sorta  failed Barefoot Contessa. I'm giving out credits to my partner for saving me from starvation.

    I'm grateful for my speedy recovery minus the excruciating sorethroat I suffered from a couple of days go. And yeah I'm back in the saddle! Any I am flying to New York tomorrow!

  Finally able to eat Cheesecake over the weekend! Heaven.

  Sadly though I have to limit my sugar intake to bare minumim starting this month which means I will only give in to my sugar cravings twice a month which tantamounts to a slice of Red Velvet cheesecake  or one cinnabon roll  or one super small Ice cream cone.  And not all of the above. Sucks!

Never realized how drastic I should get in order to avoid the recurrence of the condition. No more laparoscopy please! Visiting my doctor today for post-op as we watched my internal organs being dissected and my nasty unedible chocolate cyst being drained sent me to straight to a whole new dimension. Take "knowing what you have in the insides"literally but somehow a notch higher from the normal level. However I  was not completely grossed out since I've seen bloody procedures before in Youtube to mentally prepare myself. Dr. Ibrahim handed me a CD copy in HD which I later used to tease my boyfriend if he happens to want to lose appetite some time in the future for whatever reason. Haha. My High Definition copy is fail-proof.

Like a sweet child who received an early Christmas present I went home with a great sigh of relief and  a whole new adventure I have to partake.

Eating Healthy. Staying Healthy. Combat Stress.Take extra Care of my Womanhood. Prepare for Motherhood. And All That Jazz.

I dedicated half of my day studying Nutrition and I know I have a long way to go. So I guess I have a better excuse to lie low with Facebook and Instagram.

I know I can keep these unwanted aliens at bay forever if I will be more conscious with my health. I will resort to Holistic Medicine. I had enough of those crazy hormanal side effects.

I will let Him decide. I will not worry about this anymore. He is the Giver of Life  after all. He sees me through perfectly.




 

 

Oh hello !

Dear fairy Godmother,

   I would be thrilled if you ever exists.

   The past few days staying at home were really challenging. It ain't fun even. Although I love being online checking every Hollywood gossip I could scour, watching every single Awards shows to date but then I realized that cooking for myself is the most difficult chore there is! Seriously.

  I bought so much good stuff from Trader Joe's but my lack of skill in putting them together to create an edible masterpiece is beyond my capacity. Most of the time I was fighting with myself ( a tug-of-war between dialing Mr. Pizza Guy and boiling some eggs ) .  I have no patience in reading instructions. And waiting for things to simmer  just bore me to death. And come tasting time I just spit and regret for even trying.

   But I know I have to learn. This is my promise to myself after surgery.
   I am putting every ounce of self-control I could master not to dive in a chocolate day fiasco or red velvet cheesacake pajama party. There were days that I was on the verge of losing my mind. The sweet tooth in me is like a birth mark. It won't go away.

   Then I decided to visit food blogs. I prefer watching videos. And I choose to learn cooking healthy food that's nutritious, delicious and most of all - simple. In no time, I finished reading and watching Erwan Heussaf's thefatkidinside blog. I love his concept of food and staying healthy.

    As much as I dread visiting the grocery, his blog was able to enlighten me that cooking healthy takes effort but it's not that difficult.

    My first attempt was the Banana Oatmeal Pancake. A healthier version of your IHOP.
    But it my case... another epic Fail.
    Not good in reading instructions, that I  mistakenly read the how-to make crepes. As a result, there's too much water and oil. 'Could barely eat them, man!

     So dear fairy godmother...
     I need your pixie dusts to change my clumsy hands to full version of a Master Chef if possible.
     I want to be able to cook delicious healthy meals for me and my loved-ones.
    I know it's not rocket science.
    And please lead me away from Sweet Temptations whenever my female hormones kick in...


Sweet like Lollipop,
Me

Hello Summer!

Goodbye cardigan... This is when the temperature's sometimes reaches its boiling point!

Flowers!

Geez... My company care to send me flowers! :-)!

All Of Me

Go!

There are just days when all you want to do is sleep. 

But remember  If you have a dream, you have to Go and Get IT yourself.

Celebs

I only get to fly with one celebrity since I started flying. I used to see a lot more from my previous jobs. As in! From royalties, billionaires, Academy-award winning, down to the Kardashians. And yet, (still) I got tongue-tied when I met Will Smith face-to-face in my New York flight last Valentine's day. Oops!

0ooh...

Happy Weekend!

Love is not only an emotion; it is a decision. Love is not only a function of the heart; it is a function of the will. Love becomes love only when incarnated by acts seeking the good of another.

Happy thoughts

When Passing gas feels like winning a Million Bucks

Home at last. And seriously, I would rather be somewhere else chatting with friends and drinking tea than sit here alone.

But I was given strict orders to stay in bed and walk a bit when needed 'til my wounds heal completely. Argggghhh. I am not the type who sit all day watching YouTube ( yeah, there were times...hahah) but it gets old quickly, I want my days to be filled with activities and chores. Damn. How can I be busy without stretching too much muscles ( and my wounds) ?

It was early last Monday that I got admitted to the hospital.I slept early and started fasting by 9pm. The next day I was feeling nervous to be packing my stuff for a different reason. My lovely partner with less sleep was ( of course) arrived half an hour early looking fresh while I searched him in the lonesome hospital lobby. We watched CNN while waiting for the In-Patient reception to open. When all paperwork were done we were picked up by a male nurse and escorted us to my room. We were happy to see that it was "homey" and there's a sofa bed just right beside the patient bed. We were fooling around before the nurses gave me instructions pre-surgery. It was indeed our first time to spend the night together and sleep in two separate beds. Haha.

He took a photo of us with my hospital gown on. Gee. I look hideous. Oh well.
Then it was half past seven when they took me away...

I lost count on how many times they took blood and stick needles on my skin. Both my arms and hands were bruised badly.When I arrived the surgery room I started feeling nauseous. Gosh, this is IT. I met my doctor and had a brief chat before a male nurse tricked me to thinking he's just putting oxygen mask. Then in less than 10 seconds I drifted to somewhere with unicorns and no memory.

I had no idea how long the procedure lasted. With my blurry vision I could see from afar that the wall clock says 1030. I started mumbling and asked the question I needed to ask after the operation. "Did he remove it? " ...

My teeth were chattering the whole time. But I couldn't tell if it was cold or not. I felt like my body was just laying there with me helpless and  numb. Then instantly I found myself with him waiting in the room. I felt like half drunk and half insane. I felt confused and relieved at the same time. Everything happened so fast ( I didn't even hear any one in the surgery room talking about passing the scalpel, making the cut, removing the culprit and viewing my internal organs in that 32inch flat screen). It felt surreal. It was more like I was knocked out and voila! DONE.

That day I couldn't move. They put a cathether so going to the toilet wouldn't be such a drag. I looked helpless but thank God that I was not alone. My boyfriend was feeding me and checking on me making sure everything was fine.
When evening came, when my relatives started pouring in to check on me that's when the real challenge occur. I had to control myself from laughing or my whole belly area will hurt so bad. It was really hard! When there's a 7 and a 4 year old singing the Frozen songs nonstop with their equally comedic mothers, believe me I rang the nurse for painkillers afterwards. They were hilarious and I can't control myself. They left when visiting hours was finished and  then it was only me and my partner (who was both charming and irresistable) looking after me and slept in that cold sofa bed wrapped in sheets.

The next day was the hardest. When the cathether was removed and I have to walk to the toilet that's when all hell breaks loose. The pain was unimaginable. I called the nurse for painkillers every two hours. The gas they had induced in my tummy for the surgery was circling 'round making every move a real pain in the A$$. They asked me to move around so I could pass gas. Damn! That would be the most unattractive thing I could do in front of my boyfiriend.

The days that followed become more bearable. But I was left alone in the hospital when he returned to work. I was sad and bored. It was later in the evening on the 3rd day that I was released. My cousin picked me up and brought me to my flat. I felt more comfortable in my own place that I finally managed to pass gas and stool. Man! Seriously, it felt like I won a million bucks after that! My body sort of automatically went back to its normal programming. Hehehe...

Lesson Learned  : 'really need to look after ourselves more seriously especially as we get older. When I turned 30 last January my body kinda gave me a hint that it needs to be taken care of more aggressively in a way that I need to be more sensitive to my choices of food and have plenty of rest and regular check ups. With the kind of job I have-irregular timings and abnormal sleeping patterns, it  can really do so much negative effects on me.

I started feeling that there was something wrong in me early last year but I just walked it off . Only after my birthday when I did a general check up that it was confirmed that an alien thing ( in my case, in medical term- a chocolate cyst) which is not made of real chocolate was growing inside of me. It needs to be removed considering its size and a possibility of a rupture which can complicate the status of my internal organs. Thank God that it was early detected before it could create more havoc.

We are solely responsible for our own well-being. Don't ignore what your body is telling you. And don't be careless in eating just because it taste good it's good for you. At the same time don't eat it just because it's cheap and it's less calories. The nutrients are still much more important than the taste and the calories. Spend time creating menu that is easy to cook, won't break the bank and tastes good. There's so many resources available to make it possible. That's actually my ultimate plan after this. I am not even an inch close to being a good cook but hey, if others can why can't I?


 

Too Much FROZEN

these super talented cuties remind me of my nieces, Gosh I've seen the Frozen movie like 4 or 5 times and heard this song like a million times. it's such a hit from the kiddos! super cute!

Pretty little Things