I believe sometimes
we need the arms of someone
who can set us free.
we need the arms of someone
who can set us free.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
“Hello My Old Heart”
by The Oh Hellos
“hello, my old heart
how have you been?
are you still there inside my chest?
I’ve been so worried
you’ve been so still
barely beating at all
oh, don’t leave me here alone
don’t tell me that we’ve grown for having loved a little while
oh, I don’t want to be alone
I want to find a home and I want to share it with you “
by The Oh Hellos
“hello, my old heart
how have you been?
are you still there inside my chest?
I’ve been so worried
you’ve been so still
barely beating at all
oh, don’t leave me here alone
don’t tell me that we’ve grown for having loved a little while
oh, I don’t want to be alone
I want to find a home and I want to share it with you “
The Art of Surrender
I spent the night thinking about Adam Levine. I've always been in-love with him like I am in-love with Robert Pattinson. I know we are nowhere near related but I was just as intrigued as the rest of his admirers what was behind the split with Anne V. the supermodel. Damn! they looked so good together. And knowing that he was the one who's brokenhearted made me even more concern. Yeah, we are nowhere-related so I better stick to my business.
I started packing today. I just realized how much money I spent in the past nineteen months. I hope I can just squeeze them all in in just two huge cargo boxes. My books alone and the shoes will occupy most of the space. I feel terrible throwing some stuff that holds memories but I dare myself to start fresh. Brand new.
I am twisted with emotions like any other mid-twenties girl living alone is opt to feel. Recalling the days same time last year gives me shivers down my back. In a positive light, indeed I am in a much better place now.
When your dreams starts to come true you cannot help but grasp any slick of chance coming your way that makes you happy. I am grateful for the people I have around me. You can't just let them go. They came for a reason and I am much willing to share my part to nourish what we have. No matter where life takes us, no matter how the test of time will bring us you stick by.
I am very much thrilled for the fact that another chapter of my life is about to unfold. This time, accordingly and not by some force I had only inflicted. The time to just go over and try things differently, breathe the air with much enthusiasm, to smile at life with much ardor.
Although I am nowhere accomplished to where I am headed I am wrapped up in full-speed of hope. I may not have the person I thought I would share these wonderful things with, I am more confident that someone better is coming along. So for now, I will just surrender.
I started packing today. I just realized how much money I spent in the past nineteen months. I hope I can just squeeze them all in in just two huge cargo boxes. My books alone and the shoes will occupy most of the space. I feel terrible throwing some stuff that holds memories but I dare myself to start fresh. Brand new.
I am twisted with emotions like any other mid-twenties girl living alone is opt to feel. Recalling the days same time last year gives me shivers down my back. In a positive light, indeed I am in a much better place now.
When your dreams starts to come true you cannot help but grasp any slick of chance coming your way that makes you happy. I am grateful for the people I have around me. You can't just let them go. They came for a reason and I am much willing to share my part to nourish what we have. No matter where life takes us, no matter how the test of time will bring us you stick by.
I am very much thrilled for the fact that another chapter of my life is about to unfold. This time, accordingly and not by some force I had only inflicted. The time to just go over and try things differently, breathe the air with much enthusiasm, to smile at life with much ardor.
Although I am nowhere accomplished to where I am headed I am wrapped up in full-speed of hope. I may not have the person I thought I would share these wonderful things with, I am more confident that someone better is coming along. So for now, I will just surrender.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Bugs Bunny for dinner
At last, I get to spend two nights and three days with my cousins in Al Khail. The best part of meeting her is going to church first. It is definitely home. The feeling that I have this amazing time to talk to HIM.
I waited for this much-deserved lazy days. You know the art of doing nothing. We just lay down on the sofa while watching Style and Food Network and gossiping from our grade school days and our dreams of the future.
While I did her hair since her roots are coming out like she lost any sign of need to go to the Salon she cooked for me. I cook very rarely and most of the time only when I have no choice but cook or I will starve to death. Hahah.She made amazing Salmon soup for lunch and Apple fritters for afternoon snacks while I do the talking part just to keep her entertained.
I decided to skip dinner because of the Apple fritters and just get on watching Gossip Girl.
One of the perks of having a Christian Cousin who has too many generous Christian friends is that they always surprise you with giveaways.
In between the commercial Break @ Dubai One( you guys have no idea when was the last time I get to sit in a couch to watch TV....it's been months....) somebody knocked.
Oh. We have a visitor.
A giveaway perhaps?
She hurriedly came to see who it was. And taddah! A container covered in foil.
That sure smelled nice! I mused.
We were just talking about Paella. And there. Paella. Like God just handed me out a request straight like you press a button to order.
She asked me to taste it.
I did not refuse. Last time I had Paella was from someone I used to know and Man He really did justice to his Paella.
So I took perhaps five spoonfuls of it together with the chicken-looking meat that's around the rice.
I even told her " the chicken looks grilled..."
Only to hear later ( after I finished every single morsel in my plate...)
"hey dear, actually it's not chicken. IT'S BUNNY...."
In great horror, I looked at her waiting for her to take it back but to no avail she was serious.
First time ever I ate a bunny, it sure did taste like chicken. I don't have the stomach to try something I consider bizarre.I only stick to the basic food groups. But who knows? maybe a strange gastronomical feast could change that.
But believe me guys, all through the night I was craving for CARROT STICKS....
I waited for this much-deserved lazy days. You know the art of doing nothing. We just lay down on the sofa while watching Style and Food Network and gossiping from our grade school days and our dreams of the future.
While I did her hair since her roots are coming out like she lost any sign of need to go to the Salon she cooked for me. I cook very rarely and most of the time only when I have no choice but cook or I will starve to death
I decided to skip dinner because of the Apple fritters and just get on watching Gossip Girl.
One of the perks of having a Christian Cousin who has too many generous Christian friends is that they always surprise you with giveaways.
In between the commercial Break @ Dubai One
Oh. We have a visitor.
A giveaway perhaps?
She hurriedly came to see who it was. And taddah! A container covered in foil.
That sure smelled nice! I mused.
We were just talking about Paella. And there. Paella. Like God just handed me out a request straight like you press a button to order.
She asked me to taste it.
I did not refuse. Last time I had Paella was from someone I used to know and Man He really did justice to his Paella.
So I took perhaps five spoonfuls of it together with the chicken-looking meat that's around the rice.
I even told her " the chicken looks grilled..."
Only to hear later ( after I finished every single morsel in my plate...)
"hey dear, actually it's not chicken. IT'S BUNNY...."
In great horror, I looked at her waiting for her to take it back but to no avail she was serious.
First time ever I ate a bunny, it sure did taste like chicken. I don't have the stomach to try something I consider bizarre.I only stick to the basic food groups. But who knows? maybe a strange gastronomical feast could change that.
But believe me guys, all through the night I was craving for CARROT STICKS....
Friday, May 25, 2012
Book Review
While I am basically on holiday for a period of two weeks, days swift by with no plan in mind. I entertain the sun peeking through my window with such intensity and the itinerary of the day mostly depends with whom I would like to explore my day.
At first I was considering to meet my cousin who just got engaged but Friday may not be a good idea since she's always fully booked on weekends. Perhaps one day over the week days. So I decided to meditate for a while and see where aftermath of yoga might take me.
I've been meaning to spend the day just reading. I love bookstores. I am a geek without the dark-framed glasses. But seriously I can get through the day just sitting in Borders or Kinokuniya. So today I grabbed a seat and bring a cardigan in case the AC becomes so cruel.
Reading the Twilight Trilogy for the Nth time is just not good for me. I can't write well. I don't feel driven afterwards. Sure, Stephanie Meyer is a great writer and the story is epic but I am just digging deeper if you know what I mean.
I instantly headed towards the Best Sellers section. I picked four off the shelves. I also take Lolita since I've been planning to finish it.
With my latte and four hard-bound in my table I almost finished one entirely until I decided to take a break and think if I want to continue.
I got intrigued with one particular book when I found out that Robsten are being considered as actors for the film adaptation .The first few chapters were fine until I literally felt sick.
I had my own fair share of sexual awakening some time in my early twenties. But after reading half of the book I felt betrayed. I don't particularly liked it. The erotic sexual content, the sadistic nature of it and the female being totally submissive and stupid about the whole thing.
It's just not for me.
Maybe I will take a rest and put the book the down for a while. Maybe in a few months I might consider crawling back to where I left of.
You guys decide.
I might be a prude.
Goody-girl.
I am still the happily-ever kind of gal who won't sleep around.
At first I was considering to meet my cousin who just got engaged but Friday may not be a good idea since she's always fully booked on weekends. Perhaps one day over the week days. So I decided to meditate for a while and see where aftermath of yoga might take me.
I've been meaning to spend the day just reading. I love bookstores. I am a geek without the dark-framed glasses. But seriously I can get through the day just sitting in Borders or Kinokuniya. So today I grabbed a seat and bring a cardigan in case the AC becomes so cruel.
Reading the Twilight Trilogy for the Nth time is just not good for me. I can't write well. I don't feel driven afterwards. Sure, Stephanie Meyer is a great writer and the story is epic but I am just digging deeper if you know what I mean.
I instantly headed towards the Best Sellers section. I picked four off the shelves. I also take Lolita since I've been planning to finish it.
With my latte and four hard-bound in my table I almost finished one entirely until I decided to take a break and think if I want to continue.
I got intrigued with one particular book when I found out that Robsten are being considered as actors for the film adaptation .The first few chapters were fine until I literally felt sick.
I had my own fair share of sexual awakening some time in my early twenties. But after reading half of the book I felt betrayed. I don't particularly liked it. The erotic sexual content, the sadistic nature of it and the female being totally submissive and stupid about the whole thing.
It's just not for me.
Maybe I will take a rest and put the book the down for a while. Maybe in a few months I might consider crawling back to where I left of.
You guys decide.
I might be a prude.
Goody-girl.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
It's nice to just feel free and not to worry about such trivial matters like what are you going to wear tonight? It's just dinner.
For awhile I've been spending some time with friends and colleagues while waiting for my new place. Before, it will take some major appointments to invite me because I was mostly attached to some kind of routine. For years, I only follow one definite schedule. And mostly, I have no opinion.
Dubai is really a nice place. I can say that I already did carve my niche here. I have my church, a loyal set of friends, and hobbies that are worth pursuing and just within my arms reach, the job that I love and a grounded family who's always there for me. I realized those years when I was in relationship were the years when I felt most of the time empty. I did not have the chance to exercise my freedom. Out of love and fear of losing I tolerate such life.
It has been a constant struggle for me to be brand new. I meet guys most of the time. But I honestly left my heart somewhere. It will take time. But I am blessed that while I get to the healing part of who I am and the woman I used to be I get to share moments with people who are just amazing in all their tiny special ways.
I used to be carefree but only last night that I felt like a real one.
For awhile I've been spending some time with friends and colleagues while waiting for my new place. Before, it will take some major appointments to invite me because I was mostly attached to some kind of routine. For years, I only follow one definite schedule. And mostly, I have no opinion.
Dubai is really a nice place. I can say that I already did carve my niche here. I have my church, a loyal set of friends, and hobbies that are worth pursuing and just within my arms reach, the job that I love and a grounded family who's always there for me. I realized those years when I was in relationship were the years when I felt most of the time empty. I did not have the chance to exercise my freedom. Out of love and fear of losing I tolerate such life.
It has been a constant struggle for me to be brand new. I meet guys most of the time. But I honestly left my heart somewhere. It will take time. But I am blessed that while I get to the healing part of who I am and the woman I used to be I get to share moments with people who are just amazing in all their tiny special ways.
I used to be carefree but only last night that I felt like a real one.
 |
| after dinner, we just took off and went to Jumeirah Beach late at night to just play with the crashing waves... |
 |
| you have no idea how much sand we have in our undearwear.... |
 |
| one of the moments that took my breath away |
 |
| when you have the best company |
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Explanation
I haven't written at all in months, I think. Mostly pictures uploaded just to keep my blog moving the minimum. For the first half of the year, my life has been in total chaos with fleeting happiness in between. I felt like I wasn't gonna make it alive.
My love life has always been hanging by a thread. Men come and go. They did try to sweep me off my feet but admittedly and not proud of it, that I ended up going back to the sick routine. The problem with a long-term relationship that didn't work there's just a part of me that always come back to him. Until I hit the pavement with my head and decided to have Divine intervention. I wanted God to desperately take me away from this place. I don't deserve such incredible amount of torture from someone who used to matter a lot in my life. I did try to date just to entertain myself. But the enemy always seem to find a way to ruin my peace. I am such a good girl with a big heart. I forgive easily and then let myself get hurt again, and again.
When my mom passed away last year I thought like it was such a great punishment to me. She loved me so much. If I could only turn back time, I wish that I listened to her more intently.
After such a long wait that seemed eternity already passed, I finally made it. One thing that my mom wanted me to become is finally happening.
It was hard to let goof the Ex that doesn't want to die. And his evil ways to come and rattle me until an opportunity comes for us to go our separate ways for good.
I will start to be away in the coming months as I try to discover what this life is all about.
This, maybe is what I always needed... To getaway.
So I can FIND YOU...
To finally meet you...
My love life has always been hanging by a thread. Men come and go. They did try to sweep me off my feet but admittedly and not proud of it, that I ended up going back to the sick routine. The problem with a long-term relationship that didn't work there's just a part of me that always come back to him. Until I hit the pavement with my head and decided to have Divine intervention. I wanted God to desperately take me away from this place. I don't deserve such incredible amount of torture from someone who used to matter a lot in my life. I did try to date just to entertain myself. But the enemy always seem to find a way to ruin my peace. I am such a good girl with a big heart. I forgive easily and then let myself get hurt again, and again.
When my mom passed away last year I thought like it was such a great punishment to me. She loved me so much. If I could only turn back time, I wish that I listened to her more intently.
After such a long wait that seemed eternity already passed, I finally made it. One thing that my mom wanted me to become is finally happening.
It was hard to let goof the Ex that doesn't want to die. And his evil ways to come and rattle me until an opportunity comes for us to go our separate ways for good.
I will start to be away in the coming months as I try to discover what this life is all about.
This, maybe is what I always needed... To getaway.
So I can FIND YOU...
To finally meet you...
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
The Sky is Clear
I
guess everything worked out in the end. I am almost there with “the
credits rolling”. I reached the part when tears started pouring
down my cheeks because I made it after all. I take a peek at the
window and the sun is brightly shining. The sky is clear.
I
know what I want now. I am enough. God is amazing. He is faithful.
And I should be too. I won’t settle for less anymore. I have
forgiven the past but it doesn’t mean that I have to let it affect
me again. When a chapter ends I have to let it go. I am over it. I
could no longer remember why I was hurt and maybe that’s a sign
that I am completely healed.
We
are in a different place and time now.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
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