dilation and effacement

"In my mind, I already killed you three times!"...
Forgive me for my violent thoughts. But it's just so hard to control my rage nowadays. I pray earnestly to give me peace while I feel this incredibly sluggish. The sleeping beauty spell is still very much on and my crappy mood came back with a vengeance. These last few weeks of pregnancy is bittersweet. I love hugging my bump ( as if I can literally hug my bump... I can't even reach my toes let alone see them) but being this huge has its dark alleys. And the crying lady for some reason crawl her way to mess up my character. I don't know why. But these past few nights before bed me and bebe started having dramatic dialogues while watching DVF on E!. I feel emotional, me against the world and vice-versa kind-of-way! I cry myself to sleep clutching my belly. Ugly swollen eyes waking me up the next day. My bladder feeling like its shrunk 10 times. Bathroom breaks is now reaching twenty gazillion times each day.

On a positive note, my body is phenomenal. Like how our body knows what needs to be done in order to breathe, I believe that our body knows how to prepare itself for the D-day as well. Last week's appointment my OB told me that My cervix is already effaced. I still feel shy being checked down there. And yesterday she told my I am already 2-3 cm dilated. Holy cow! She believes everything is going to be easy for me. Although I feel like a whale most of the time, she assured me that me and bebe are both in excellent health. Sometimes people get surprised when they find out I am carrying a boy. One old wive's tale say carrying boys make the mommy ugly. Super darkened underarms and neck, dark spots in the face and tomato-like noses emerging like Shrek's. Oh well thanks for telling me I am no way close to looking like Shrek in this pregnancy. My bebe is such a good boy. He listens to mommy. And we take care of each other. Only this time, if bebe wants a cookie at 2am he makes it a point he will get it by kicking me so hard I could literally feel his tiny fist. But overall, I can feel his love and obedience and his excitement to meet everyone.

I can give birth any moment now. I still feel like doing some light weights but I worry bebe will come out before daddy arrives so better just catch more snoozin' like I haven't slept in a hundred years.

Now I want a giant pepperoni pizza. Daaaaaaaad!!!! Please get me one!!!!