I slid my way through her room. I was glad she decided to stay with me while the rest went out to take their midnight plunge into the sea. In some strange way, the waters here don't fascinate me as much. But when I saw theirs in his city how I loved to bathe with him. My eyes were swollen and my curly auburn hair went twisted from lying flat in my bed. She was kind enough to console me. Amanda would not understand this time but I needed some company. I really need Angela now. It's amazing how things grew fonder between us when we used to hate each other's guts a year ago.
" hey, what's wrong? you don't look okay..."
" i just don't know what to do this time. I had enough but I couldn't stop".
She pressed me hard and brushed the tears flowing down my cheek. We could only hear our own deep breathing. She spent more than an hour giving me advice. I was intently listening.
I don't have anyone else now. My parents will never understand. Amanda will be close to hitting me if I will tell her the truth. My cousin will spill the beans altogether if she finds out the I cannot seem to kick the addiction altogether.
I am just so desperate to be loved. Somehow Angela is the best person to talk to about these things. She has a bigger heart that everyone else that I know. Although she also told me to let go and give up , but there's something in the way the words came out from her mouth that comforts me that it was indeed okay that I am taking so much time to get real. But it hurts. Because no one seem to give me what I really wanted to hear.
I am living in this secret world. Right now I am a case of a love bipolar. I say things I don't mean. I complain too much. And I talk loud. When he calls I grow silent. Then whispers sweet things like he is the most beautiful, loving and kind-hearted man you will ever meet.
She said that I deserve better. What I did for him nobody can do. That's why everyone's telling me I 'm already mad. I laughed when she said even ten kinds of him will not suffice to the one I truly deserve. " He isn't worth the fight...he's just not".
I got the calm I was longing for. But I took me a hundred turns in my bed before I nestled. Then just when I decided that it's time, something went ringing in my head.
" hey, what's wrong? you don't look okay..."
" i just don't know what to do this time. I had enough but I couldn't stop".
She pressed me hard and brushed the tears flowing down my cheek. We could only hear our own deep breathing. She spent more than an hour giving me advice. I was intently listening.
I don't have anyone else now. My parents will never understand. Amanda will be close to hitting me if I will tell her the truth. My cousin will spill the beans altogether if she finds out the I cannot seem to kick the addiction altogether.
I am just so desperate to be loved. Somehow Angela is the best person to talk to about these things. She has a bigger heart that everyone else that I know. Although she also told me to let go and give up , but there's something in the way the words came out from her mouth that comforts me that it was indeed okay that I am taking so much time to get real. But it hurts. Because no one seem to give me what I really wanted to hear.
I am living in this secret world. Right now I am a case of a love bipolar. I say things I don't mean. I complain too much. And I talk loud. When he calls I grow silent. Then whispers sweet things like he is the most beautiful, loving and kind-hearted man you will ever meet.
She said that I deserve better. What I did for him nobody can do. That's why everyone's telling me I 'm already mad. I laughed when she said even ten kinds of him will not suffice to the one I truly deserve. " He isn't worth the fight...he's just not".
I got the calm I was longing for. But I took me a hundred turns in my bed before I nestled. Then just when I decided that it's time, something went ringing in my head.
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