The cold wind blew right across my face and it made me think of one thing, my childhood summers. I used to spend them in the backyard with my journal as I sat comfortably under the shade of tropical trees. Sunset wind brings cool breeze as my mind wanders.
I don't have much friends living close to me since I go to the other city highschool. Weekends were dull so I spend most of them with the company of my parents. They felt like they know me well since I am visible most of the time. Valentine's day they date me. I don't complain about them being hands on in every thing it's just that I sort of became too dependent on them. I love them no doubt and I owe to them my life and my achievements. Only I hope they can trust me more. Especially in love.
I never had a real boyfriend even in highschool and college. Dad comes to pick me up on play rehearsals even when I started working just to keep me safe. He loves me so much. He will do everything just to drive the bad guys away. And so, no guy ever came too close to me. I was alone. I felt a little empty with my face facing down the pavement whenever some cute guy walks right in the room. I was so self conscious. Until I met Patrick and Craig and the rest of those men who want to take the second base. Unfortunately none of them were successful. Do I have any regrets? No. Anyway it was my choice to remain pure and untouched 'til I fall in love.
I will never forget my first kiss. I called Amanda immediately after I had my first taste. I had a light fever the following day. My body sort of found difficulty adjusting with the sudden rush of happy hormones. It wasn't used to anything too joyful or exciting. But Patrick wasn't the best kisser. It was quite awkward even. Too much of something but lack some connection deep within. It was like kissing yourself in the mirror. Cold and tasteless. Only the thought that some hot british guy lock lips with yours. It never happen again. A few more months after that my friends found him digging someone else's throat in the hotel lobby, some starlet named Vicky with big bumpers and long black hair that shines like velvet and I felt sick whenever their images cross my mind.
And then came Craig. I can consider him a friend I would like to keep forever. He's like a mentor to me. And he made me feel I can get far with what I have. My spontaneity, my naiveness ( in a good way), my innocence and clear mind. He knew I deserve someone who can really love me that no one-night stand could ever be good or advisable to me just to get more to life being the all-goody-goody girl I was known for. We parted ways in good terms. I never heard about him for two years now. I hope he also found love. I wish him the best in everything because he deserves it.
When I gave it I was ready. I think I was already hunting for someone who can be like the "can opener". It wasn't because of peer pressure or anything. I just knew that I have to go to that path of adulthood. I have always been responsible with my actions. My life was all-planned out ever since. Then the unexpected came. He swept me off my feet. I was so in-love that no Magna Cum Laude honors can stop the rush of love in my bloodstream. I thought he loved me too because that's what his beautiful lips tell whenever I ask. I became a different person after the first night. I felt heavy and light at the same time. It was painful and pleasurable. It was an ineffable feeling. It made me feel I was ready to die.
" I am no saint mom. I did things for love. I did some things you will never understand. But please I want you to love me still. Tell Dad, he is still the best man in the whole wide world. Don't cry, I was happy I did it".
I don't have much friends living close to me since I go to the other city highschool. Weekends were dull so I spend most of them with the company of my parents. They felt like they know me well since I am visible most of the time. Valentine's day they date me. I don't complain about them being hands on in every thing it's just that I sort of became too dependent on them. I love them no doubt and I owe to them my life and my achievements. Only I hope they can trust me more. Especially in love.
I never had a real boyfriend even in highschool and college. Dad comes to pick me up on play rehearsals even when I started working just to keep me safe. He loves me so much. He will do everything just to drive the bad guys away. And so, no guy ever came too close to me. I was alone. I felt a little empty with my face facing down the pavement whenever some cute guy walks right in the room. I was so self conscious. Until I met Patrick and Craig and the rest of those men who want to take the second base. Unfortunately none of them were successful. Do I have any regrets? No. Anyway it was my choice to remain pure and untouched 'til I fall in love.
I will never forget my first kiss. I called Amanda immediately after I had my first taste. I had a light fever the following day. My body sort of found difficulty adjusting with the sudden rush of happy hormones. It wasn't used to anything too joyful or exciting. But Patrick wasn't the best kisser. It was quite awkward even. Too much of something but lack some connection deep within. It was like kissing yourself in the mirror. Cold and tasteless. Only the thought that some hot british guy lock lips with yours. It never happen again. A few more months after that my friends found him digging someone else's throat in the hotel lobby, some starlet named Vicky with big bumpers and long black hair that shines like velvet and I felt sick whenever their images cross my mind.
And then came Craig. I can consider him a friend I would like to keep forever. He's like a mentor to me. And he made me feel I can get far with what I have. My spontaneity, my naiveness ( in a good way), my innocence and clear mind. He knew I deserve someone who can really love me that no one-night stand could ever be good or advisable to me just to get more to life being the all-goody-goody girl I was known for. We parted ways in good terms. I never heard about him for two years now. I hope he also found love. I wish him the best in everything because he deserves it.
When I gave it I was ready. I think I was already hunting for someone who can be like the "can opener". It wasn't because of peer pressure or anything. I just knew that I have to go to that path of adulthood. I have always been responsible with my actions. My life was all-planned out ever since. Then the unexpected came. He swept me off my feet. I was so in-love that no Magna Cum Laude honors can stop the rush of love in my bloodstream. I thought he loved me too because that's what his beautiful lips tell whenever I ask. I became a different person after the first night. I felt heavy and light at the same time. It was painful and pleasurable. It was an ineffable feeling. It made me feel I was ready to die.
" I am no saint mom. I did things for love. I did some things you will never understand. But please I want you to love me still. Tell Dad, he is still the best man in the whole wide world. Don't cry, I was happy I did it".
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