We've been on and off again. It happens almost everytime he got enough of me. And then he said something this morning that just hit me. Last night I thought that was the end. I decided to tell him the truth. I decided to let it all hang there again- my love, my undying hope. Why love is just so complicated for me? Why can't I just let go of him? Why can't I just be mad at him like normal people should feel after all what happened.Why can't I just stop loving him like what he did ?
The last thread that could possible bring us back together just broke. I thought I was carrying his child. I was a bit nervous and scared that I was delayed for one week, first time it happened. I took the tests and it fronted both negative but I was still feeling the signs that I could be pregrant. Then bloody Mary came Monday night while I was on duty. I felt relieved and a bit disappointed. God answered my prayer. He knew I deserved better.
I told my parents and my friends I no longer have any form of communication with him. Call me the skinny liar now. I am disgusted with myself whenever I put up with that lie. I know deep inside of me I could not just let him out of my system unless I found someone new.But when?
What do you know about love? I knew my definition already. I crossed borders and lifted mountains after another. I even got to the point of losing myself just to get my love back. And to no avail until my fragile body almost hit rock bottom. Did I regret it? No. But the pain lingers on.
While he doesn't care about my love at all.
He said that I should start sending my CV to his city so we can be together. That's another lie. He mentioned about these companies that are hiring. I know there's no way he could possibly know that. His bitch is doing it already. What am I for? To compete for job vacancy with her? I am not only the mistress here who came first but the wife that I should be but he never consider. Now even in job hunting I have to go against this woman? No way! No! no! no!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment