So I took the time to have a hard look at my life.

It was another freezing Saturday morning. I barely slept last night. I heard over the news this morning that the snow is getting thicker since last night. No surprise that my feet went numb. I took two cups of coffee while I watched some Anime, kinda reminds me of Japan. I used to come for some Manga action adventures sketch work there but now here I am keeping myself busy teaching yoga every Thursday, working at home to finish my book, and singing in a Karaoke bar every Friday nights. I used to dream of travelling, backpacking across Asia and South America. I'm half century old now, time is passing so fast I wonder if I have enough time to fulfill all my heart's desire.

It's been three years since I moved here. I was thinking to go to New York to pursue my modelling career but it was put on hold when I met this guy way back in College. He was an up and coming Fashion Photographer with whom I fell hopelessly in-love with only to find out that he was married to my agent. I was thinking to just go home when I found it impossible to work with him any longer but I don't want to come back yet, not without the stars in my hands. So here I am with enough money to keep a studio-type apartment with Tinker and some luxuries I receive from my work and from the people who fancy me with much surprise.

I used to dream about a white ball gown and pink peonies for my wedding day. Then go to Rio to visit Christ, the Redeemer after my honeymoon. I want to keep positive it will happen. I want to continue my life with dreams eventhough at this point my heart can barely speak anything nice and pretty and powerful.

I want to give up the search now. But I don't know what is this thing keeping me together.