Long time, no post.
Been rather busy with the most trivial stuff and the heavyness of my very pregnant belly.
Rainy day Wednesday, when it was excruciatingly hot and sunny a couple of days back. I am certainly convinced that the weather has lost its mind. It's just insane. I am petrified of Dengue. With the rainshowers every now and then it's very obvious that the itchiness is not coming from the pregnancy but from these very annoying blood-sucking mosquitoes that are multiplying by day.
It's really fascinating how my mood changes. I've been up all night for several times now. Staring at the flicker of light coming from the balcony, carefully listening to the cats irritating cries and there I was curled up like a ball with my mind filled with worry and fear, -waiting for the husband to come home when there's a four-hour difference that I am trying to accept lightly. But mostly, I ended up dozing by 2 am since hubby always comes late from work. We promise to watsapp every single day. I worry too much about so many things. I want to be a cool mom and the hot wifey to the hubby. But looking at my reflection nowadays can sometimes bring tears to my eyes when nothing of my old clothes seem to fit anymore. I used to be size zero or 2. Forget it. And how I 'm dying to do my roots. My hair has lost its luster. I am always in a ponytail with no make up on,because it's just too freaking hot here! I miss the glamour of red lipstick and my 3-inch stilletoes. I fear about the baby weight. I am anxious about how to take good care of the bebe while keeping the mystery and spice of our marriage. There's just so many things that's going on in my mind right now. Pregnancy by itself is a life-changing experience. The bebe hasn't arrive yet and here I am never been so lost in my entire life.
Hubby always tells me to just enjoy and savor this moment because I will miss it. But one thing for sure, If I will get pregnant again I will make sure that we will not be separated, that we will be together in the same time zone ( at least). It's different being with the husband than being with my parents and relatives. I am surrounded by people but I have never felt this much lonely. I'd rather sit all day alone in the house and knowing later he will come home to me. Once the woman gets married everything changes. Her priorities and her dreams most especially.
Last week bebe started developing his ears so I make sure to talk to him and read to him and play classical music every night before bed. My little love seem to enjoy it very much that his kicks sometimes surprise the hell out of me. They are strong and violent in a way that makes me wonder what my little love is actually up to inside my belly. I love him so much now. I can't wait to smell him and kiss him when he's finally here. And yet there were nights when it gets overwhelming. I cry myself to sleep waiting for hubby to be home. Singing to bebe and wishing I can hold his tiny hands for comfort. It's like I am PMS-ing 10thousand times worse. And the next day I prefer to just be quiet and read. I don't want to see anybody and I don't want to have friendly talk with anyone. It's a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Last Sunday I was trying to do my pedicure but I cannot even reach my toes anymore. I was trying to sweep the floor but I suddenly felt like I was running out of breath. But I thank God for my skin and my feet. No stretchmarks and no swelling. My feet still looks normal and my skin still looks divine. I can still smile looking at my naked pregnant body.
A few more weeks my love...
A few more weeks...
Yes, I am still scared, anxious and filled with worry. But at the same time excited.
I always wanted to be a mom. I always wanted to be a wife to someone. It's my dream to have my own family, to have a really nice place filled with people I love to come home to...
Been rather busy with the most trivial stuff and the heavyness of my very pregnant belly.
Rainy day Wednesday, when it was excruciatingly hot and sunny a couple of days back. I am certainly convinced that the weather has lost its mind. It's just insane. I am petrified of Dengue. With the rainshowers every now and then it's very obvious that the itchiness is not coming from the pregnancy but from these very annoying blood-sucking mosquitoes that are multiplying by day.
It's really fascinating how my mood changes. I've been up all night for several times now. Staring at the flicker of light coming from the balcony, carefully listening to the cats irritating cries and there I was curled up like a ball with my mind filled with worry and fear, -waiting for the husband to come home when there's a four-hour difference that I am trying to accept lightly. But mostly, I ended up dozing by 2 am since hubby always comes late from work. We promise to watsapp every single day. I worry too much about so many things. I want to be a cool mom and the hot wifey to the hubby. But looking at my reflection nowadays can sometimes bring tears to my eyes when nothing of my old clothes seem to fit anymore. I used to be size zero or 2. Forget it. And how I 'm dying to do my roots. My hair has lost its luster. I am always in a ponytail with no make up on,
Hubby always tells me to just enjoy and savor this moment because I will miss it. But one thing for sure, If I will get pregnant again I will make sure that we will not be separated, that we will be together in the same time zone ( at least). It's different being with the husband than being with my parents and relatives. I am surrounded by people but I have never felt this much lonely. I'd rather sit all day alone in the house and knowing later he will come home to me. Once the woman gets married everything changes. Her priorities and her dreams most especially.
Last week bebe started developing his ears so I make sure to talk to him and read to him and play classical music every night before bed. My little love seem to enjoy it very much that his kicks sometimes surprise the hell out of me. They are strong and violent in a way that makes me wonder what my little love is actually up to inside my belly. I love him so much now. I can't wait to smell him and kiss him when he's finally here. And yet there were nights when it gets overwhelming. I cry myself to sleep waiting for hubby to be home. Singing to bebe and wishing I can hold his tiny hands for comfort. It's like I am PMS-ing 10thousand times worse. And the next day I prefer to just be quiet and read. I don't want to see anybody and I don't want to have friendly talk with anyone. It's a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Last Sunday I was trying to do my pedicure but I cannot even reach my toes anymore. I was trying to sweep the floor but I suddenly felt like I was running out of breath. But I thank God for my skin and my feet. No stretchmarks and no swelling. My feet still looks normal and my skin still looks divine. I can still smile looking at my naked pregnant body.
A few more weeks my love...
A few more weeks...
Yes, I am still scared, anxious and filled with worry. But at the same time excited.
I always wanted to be a mom. I always wanted to be a wife to someone. It's my dream to have my own family, to have a really nice place filled with people I love to come home to...
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