Realization

So last time I was complaining about not having enough time for couple's night, or Sasha not letting us have one (without him crying and asking for boobie) and how he's becoming so slippery active I was grasping for air at the end of the day, well, I should always be reminded of how precious these times were , until he got a fever of almost 40degrees. I prefer the active, happy and noisy Sasha than the quiet lazy couch potato when he's having a fever. Damn this teething phase! We were literally worried sick for almost two days. My husband more panicky than me was running like a chicken without a head. I don't like him when he's becoming one and myself turning into one of Daenrys's dragons. We rushed him to ER at 5 am since his body was as hot as the oven when I'm baking pizza. The thing was, he's not even crying. I just felt him very hot as he squeezed his body next to mine searching for my chest. I grab my husband by the hand and woke up him immediately. The doctor didnt find anything. It could be the weather becoming more chilly, the changing breeze and yeah the molars finally popping. And so we both decided to turn off the AC and let the windows open all day and night. At least a little minus from electric bill these coming months and more sweat when I'm working out. (The greatest feeling!) 

The next day he was fine and jolly. Now I realized I have no right to complain. Instead be mindful of the blessings. Maybe me, depriving him of the milk made him unwell somehow. I could have had pressured him to let go too quickly when he's not yet ready. Perhaps I should back off a little and let the whole thing takes its course. He will be ready once he's ready. I should learn to trust him more. My girls can wait, and a good push- up bra is anywhere available anyway. 

I can't imagine it's already November. And 2015 is almost coming to a close. Just last year around this time I was in the Philippines patiently waiting for Sasha's arrival and my husband coming for his birth. And now we are together, as promised. God is so good! 

This last week was full of downs more than ups. Every night I reflect on my day and contemplate of the things I could have done better. God wants me to be the best version of myself. I want to change this and that. But  I cannot do it on my own. My child and my husband are my greatest blessings. It's easy to forget when you get carried away by rolling tides. But God is always ardent to remind me how much he blessed me. I have everything I wanted and more, it's mostly a matter of attitude how I see life and how to grab happiness by the head. There is no room to complain when there's so much to be thankful for.