Tough

   Yeah life is tough and so is married life. It's not always flowers and chocolates and make up sex. The reality is- it's a whole lot different ; which basically includes endless debate on who's turn it is to change baby's diaper, cleaning up the mess and preparing healthy stuff to feed him. Most days we were running out of polite words to say to each other perhaps out of baby burnout or lack of couple's time. Single girls out there often think that getting married will automatically solve their problems. Hah. Wake up ladies! Not to kill it for you but getting married and staying married are a constant battlefield and motherhood is no walk in the park. But am I regretting that I did choose this life? Absolutely Not! 

     Despite the hardships and lack of personal time at the end of the day I feel grateful. One day always leads to an exciting self discovery to the next. I see my husband's imperfections under great scrutiny but still love him for them. Every day  I get to learn why it's very important to pray for your marriage, for your husband and especially for yourself as the wife, because as much as we want our husbands to change most often it's our hearts that need changing first. I desire to be a virtuous wife. I strive to be godly, confident, attractive, diligent, wise and persevering. But nothing worthwhile comes easy. Every week I learn how I want to improve myself in general not for other people but because I want to please the Boss Up There. I used to regard myself religious not until I went through some very tough times in my life that made me realize that knowing God intimately is the Best relationship you will ever have in your life. It's almost magical and surely uplifting. 

     A couple of weeks back I had some deep personal problems that kept bugging me. I had ranout of  resources to find answers from and my faith was definitely being put to test. I was being tempted to entertain some thoughts that are destructive. The enemy's voice was so loud that in the end I succumb to it. One foot out the door just because I missed how carefree life used to be and how lies of the Enemy can just easily penetrate into us. I was moved. I spoke with my husband about it and most especially asked my prayer partners for counselling. 

     If we want to create the best times of our lives and make it right we should be the one to make it and not our online status and what the media dictates. And in this life of temptations, low morale and easy quick fixes its paramount to seek Divine Wisdom at all times.  I learned that even when we pray and we do good we are still not immune to worldliness. If we want to find Joy not happiness we have to seek somewhere Deeper and more Infinite.