It's important to carefully choose what to feed our minds as well as its equally important with whom we choose to spend most of our time with. Between work commitments and rendezvous with friends and significant other I spend most of my time with my mind having its usual self monologue.
And during these times my mind adrift to places I have never been before. Some are pictures of a promising future while at times just dark hollow places. And there comes a time when I imagine life seemingly pushing me at the edge of the cliff . Should I jump or step back? What are the chances that my parachute will open just in time before I reach the ground? Or how bigger is the risk of me having broken bones and be shattered into a million pieces and never be found?
After a long flight here I am having lunch of pancakes and sausages in my empty flat where the sound of the construction nearby is my only sole comfort giving me an illusion that I am not alone.
I originally agreed to join a friend to go sunbathing today in a posh hotel in Sheikh Zayed but she got pulled out to do airport standby. All of my best friends from elementary days to my now adult self have all decided to live in Canada, Norway and UK. It's quite hard to schedule an intense girl-bonding session in Skype given their work loads and time difference . So yeah, I can really make -use of a friendship that is about to blossom.
There's no way that we can find answers on our own. That's why we need constant interaction with people to know the truth. When I tend to have doubts and fears start to crawl in I know I am in big trouble. So I gather facts. Read and from time to time consult Youtube University and Google College. And yet sometimes it leaves me as confuse as ever. So I ask people and they are more delighted to share their opinions. Little did I know that some of what they are going to say were not the ones I would like to hear. Every flight during our mindless Galley Gossiping when all the passengers are already well-fed and heavily drunk and now snoring loudly in their suites and seats there goes our usual discussion of life, sex, marriage, not-wanting to get married and the hopeful quest for Mr. Right, if he ever exists. And yesterday was about pregnancy since one Korean girl just came back from Maternity leave. Her eyes grow big whenever she describes the pain and the joy of giving birth, her considering a boob-job and how she terribly misses her little one waiting for her. It sounds so ideal. I can't help finding myself climbing in the clouds of fantasy.
I grew up having both set of parents who are lovingly looking after each other all throughout their marriage until my mom passed away almost two years ago. I still vividly remember how they kissed in front of us while we almost by default say"yuck " in disgust. They do fight once in a while like normal couple and it's always Dad who gives in. Mom is the tough chick who terrorize us with her vocal chords while Dad harmonize his way to get what he wants. Dad was the boss in the company before he retires. He was my first hero and my idea of a Prince Charming. I always find his calmness and tactfullness to be great assets. Calm and collected under pressure. Way back his "hotness" days in his coat and tie persona before he settles to faded jeans and loose shirts at this point in time it cannot be denied that chicks dig him. I recalled one time during one event when we drove all the way to the city somewhere in the North there were couple of old single women flirting with him when Mom gets busy taking care of the food. But there was never a time they quarrel about ladies trying to get his attention. I don't know how my Mom who acts like an erupting volcano whenever she's pissed gathers herself too well. I am the jealous type and now that she's gone I am left with no clue just memories on how she constantly prays for him whenever and wherever.
If only women are designed to live just for themselves and not programmed to be be caregivers to their husbands and offsprings I would not bother to take the plunge. It's just not the case and that some point in our lives will desire to settle down and procreate. And times have changed. Women who keep their legs crossed are gone by the wind. They devour men like hunters in the wild forests. One of my greatest fear is to meet a woman who lost all her morality and will just grab anyone for food as she scratch her well-painted nails in my husband's back. And they are everywhere playing with no boundaries . There are only a handful of our kind who aren't like them. There are still some who are well -grounded and decent to step back to a man who is married or committed. While the good kind do everything to keep her man. He should do the same and immediately cut the advances of some desperate ones. Believe me if you hang out with people who are addicted to marijuana chances are great you will join them later. Same goes with entering a bakeshop convincing yourself you will not grab some cupcakes. Who doesn't like flattery? I automatically turned scarlet whenever a hunk gave me a second look and when the Captain invited me to sit in the flight deck for take off and landing. But that's just it. I learned from my parents that if you really love someone just the thought of hurting that person will make you sick to your stomach and the fear of The Lord is the first step of Knowledge.
No amount of love and gifts can prevent someone to go astray. But I believe that prayers can be very effective and work wonders in the relationship.
If you found someone who is confident enough to step back from temptations and proves their love every single day as they pronounce these words to you, well you get yourself a Keeper.
And maybe this is enough reason to jump from the cliff and trust the parachute.
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