I gained so much control of myself. I guess sometimes it gets more addictive as time goes by. As I held my guards up, I  am more convinced that it's the only way to protect myself from hurt, little did I know that it's also the same thing that's keeping me away from being truly happy.

      I called for the cab to picked me up an hour and a half after midnight. I slept two hours and woke up feeling grumpy. The songs playing in the radio failed to cheer me up until my ringtone blasted and saw a familiar name flashing on my mobile screen. A cheerful voice on the other line succeeded to draw a wide smile across my face. When someone was very much looking forward to see you no wonder you will feel the same feeling I have been feeling lately.

     His lanky figure resembles someone I used to stare a lot in FTV. I just came right on time. I guess taxi cab drivers will never be nice to me. Ever. There's always going to be a sad tale after that fifteen-minute hell of a ride. It's either another story of harassment or a near-death experience as you grasp for oxygen to fill in your lungs since the cabbie forgot to take shower in a million years. Until I saw him standing there, with his perfect set of pearly whites that I got used to seeing and biting between kisses, somehow helped me forgot my unluckiness with commute.

      There's something about how his eyes flicker with light whenever he looks at me. And his touch that never fails to crawl with electricity and heat which nourishes me back to life. I had simply forgotten how to matter to someone. How to be greeted with much ardor and expectancy. And he's making me feel beautiful. He's making me happy.

       I always give  more than what is expected, that's just my mantra. And I just don't share a part of me, I intend to give my heart into it.

       If only the walls could talk because those two nights I had laid myself awake and dripping in sweats in the arms of someone I care passionately about I guess it would agree as I pondered some valuable lessons about life and love.

       I kissed his tender lips and drank his thirst away as we dive together in the rivers of youth that was once been taken away from me. He drew circles down my back and wrote my name with his fingers as he sweetly cradle me to sleep. And when I woke up his arms never falter nor complain. I had watched the sun shines in his eyes during the day and see stars when he kisses me goodnight.
 His arms carry me with much ease and caress me with his  feather-like touch. He worship my body and make love to me like it was just his first. I don't want to wake up. Let's just stay intertwined.

      So I made up my mind to give myself a chance. To expand my horizon and learn to let go. Nobody's perfect and so does he or me. I left my prison cell a year ago and my new beginning has been the sweetest of all.