At Lost for words

Finally, after a long while of such tormenting work hours I have my well-deserved offs.

It was indeed a battle to get myself to sleep for the past six days. I was sure I was too close to losing my mind. I felt like I was absolutely floating in space for lack of rest and having too much caffeine just to keep my eyes open sure did make me look like a zombie. However, looking at the bright side I made of lot of money. Not bad at all. And on top of it all, I got a call from destiny. Perhaps, it's not yet over. I DO belong there. It'll just takes a few more steps and hardwork I know I'll get IT. Anyway. I will update you with the rest soon.

Thank God I am done with night shift for this month.
And a brand new day is about to rise.

I went out today after three hours of sleep for a business meeting. I loved the concept. I hope God will help me make it succeed. I am so new with this thing. But I am a good sales person, so I guess I will start from there. I was hesitant at first to meet up but on second thought I realized I have nothing to lose anyway and besides I really want to start my dream about having my own business.

As much as I want to stay for a while and treat myself to something like a fancy dinner or a new pair of shoes or a new Bestseller my body started giving me the signs that I need to go home instead and sleep early. And on my way to the Cab station , of all people that I will get to see, of all people I least want to get a glimpse of , - I saw a ghost from the past. I immediately intended to look in a different direction so our eyes won't meet. I don't want him to see me. And of course I don't want him to know that I saw him. I just walked away the last time. I had nothing left to say. My heart has been pulverized a hundred times before and I just don't have the strength to have another word-sparring with the person who hurt me the MOST. And honestly it feels like a hundred years ago the last time I heard his voice and like we've been separated with a million mountains and he was the only person I never really get to know. In retrospect he still hunts me when I am alone sitting in my room. Sometimes I miss him. But mostly because I really despise every minute and every second that I wasted trying to make it work. Only God knows if I will ever learn to forgive him or give him even half a second to talk to me. I loved dearly and now my heart just felt like a stone. And certainly I don't like it. I want to be in the arms of someone who deserves me and I want to give another shot to happiness. I believe there's someone for me out there.

Oh well, too much about the heartaches from the past.
Things are different now.

By the way, SANDANCE is tonight!
I checked in SNOW PATROL!!!!! not bad for my last leg for night shift!
Wooohoo!