What Nobody knows

Behind every story I told anyone they assumed immediately how bad you treated me. I missed telling them how tight you held my hand and how you embraced me with those arms of yours. I don't want to tell anyone about that. Because maybe my own mind is no longer a reliable source. Sometimes I blow things out of proportion. The little things you did for me I consider them grand. For others they were just petty little things. But for me they meant the world especially coming from you: this person who wouldn't even lift a finger to please me unless I am the last person on Earth you can call.
It used to cut me deeply like a knife. But blood ran out. I no longer feel pain thinking those times you let me down, from all the times you took me for granted, for all the times you slashed me with your cruel words. I became accustomed to all the bullshits. I got used in all the mediocrity, the time wasted waiting before you come home, the lies that you fed my head. It literally turned wasted, my brain.

" I am including you in my plans"
" Really? "
" I am the boss, I can put you in one department. I will not allow that you stay there any longer..."

Promises. Another set of promises.
I know you can push me right out the door in an instant. I don't want to suffer. I am flying in two months time. I don't think I am gonna give you another chance.