Some things never change...

      At last, I finished my reading after a truckload of attempts to concentrate. I woke up early even when I slept late the previous night. I have this tendency to overwork when I started feeling better after a week of being ill. Of course, I almost finish a whole ice cream pint from all the "work" I did today to compensate from studying too much on a weekend. Sure, it did feels like I am back to my old school a few years back when I only eat and breathe books and church. Yeah, I was such a nerd wherein most of my classmates hated me for not joining  them in cutting classes while my professors be-friend me like I am their own child or something. It's freaky in a way. But that was me before, a few years ago 'til I "evolve" to become human with feelings. 

    Between my books and  a few constant drop of chat messages from the people who are important to me, I can't help but recall how things used to be simple and complicated way back then.

    Chatting with Dad nowadays gets even more exciting. He's the only one I've got. All my brothers have their own separate lives. And I am here to take care of my old man whom I love. However, talking to him feels like I am talking to my own son in his teenage years. Come on. I usually had talks with my girlfriends whenever I am  dropping the ball in breaking a guy's heart but hearing my Dad's plight towards rejection is definitely new for me. He started inquiring me about stuff that I never thought would run in a guy's mind just to please one person he likes. You know, it's different with women at this point in time. We have the urge to express how we feel without reservation as long as we feel that there's nothing wrong with it. Of course, I still have butterflies in my stomach whenever I get caught up in the middle with someone I really liked. I had my fair share of sweaty palms and tongue twisters whenever I get a glimpse of that special person who makes my heart skip a beat. And my Dad saying these symptoms to me, is like " this is not happening..." And yet, of course I will help him  and will understand him for I wanted nothing but his happiness. It's just so foreign. Knowing who it is made it even more intriguing."Seriously, Dad, it's her. Not bad. It's just that I know her very well. And mom too". Sometimes it's really surprising how life gives you roles you never thought will just land at the palm of your hand. I feel more like an adult now. Looking after my little children: my Dad for one. It's something fresh to consider feeling I am the parent now.

      Well, talking about people I used to spend most of the time in the past it's exciting how much effort they do just to drop me a line or two. How much they are looking forward to seeing me. Some people I am not even close to become all of a sudden seems like a long-lost best friend. Oh, Maybe I really did something right in my life if people started looking at me differently. At the same time, it still feels the old "me" after all these years. After how many times I changed my hair color and how many times I chopped my hair off. I am still the nerdy girl who dreams big and wants to be everything all at the same time. Only, I am lighter and whiter. Thanks to Dubai water and weather. Classmates from grade school to University, past job experiences, neighbors and my friend's neighbors and maybe even my neighbor's dog if it has Facebook he will click "like " in my Facebook page. I am very much flattered. I am very much thrilled. God has reasons why He is showing these things to me. I just fill in another role. People are looking up to me in away that I could not afford to disappoint them. I just remember someone sent me a message that  I am her role model. That's fabulous. Don't just get overboard though. I have fallen before from like 10 flight of stairs from falling crazily-in love,  that department that I am not so proud about.

  Well at least, from the many times I fell I sure did find the courage to get up.

   I will always be the nerdy goody-good girl. Love me or hate me. It doesn't matter. You will like me in the end.


    My alarm is telling me I have ten minutes to finish this post, so let me wrap this up quickly.

    I have a week to finish June, and only six more months 'til I get to the full circle. A lot of surprising adventure's still on the way. New destination to discover, new people to get to know, my heart beating fast mostly all the time, more of crazy-striptease moves on the net to entice him since we don' t see each other all the time, well, it's been a great ride after all. I guess that being a good girl with some naughty-dirty-nasty-sexy attitude hidden in my closet will always be there. I am quirky. And it's fun to tease someone you like. Show some skin exclusively. Keep thy imagination running wild in his head.  Beyond the power of self control I don't know where to get the resistance.