Realization

So last time I was complaining about not having enough time for couple's night, or Sasha not letting us have one (without him crying and asking for boobie) and how he's becoming so slippery active I was grasping for air at the end of the day, well, I should always be reminded of how precious these times were , until he got a fever of almost 40degrees. I prefer the active, happy and noisy Sasha than the quiet lazy couch potato when he's having a fever. Damn this teething phase! We were literally worried sick for almost two days. My husband more panicky than me was running like a chicken without a head. I don't like him when he's becoming one and myself turning into one of Daenrys's dragons. We rushed him to ER at 5 am since his body was as hot as the oven when I'm baking pizza. The thing was, he's not even crying. I just felt him very hot as he squeezed his body next to mine searching for my chest. I grab my husband by the hand and woke up him immediately. The doctor didnt find anything. It could be the weather becoming more chilly, the changing breeze and yeah the molars finally popping. And so we both decided to turn off the AC and let the windows open all day and night. At least a little minus from electric bill these coming months and more sweat when I'm working out. (The greatest feeling!) 

The next day he was fine and jolly. Now I realized I have no right to complain. Instead be mindful of the blessings. Maybe me, depriving him of the milk made him unwell somehow. I could have had pressured him to let go too quickly when he's not yet ready. Perhaps I should back off a little and let the whole thing takes its course. He will be ready once he's ready. I should learn to trust him more. My girls can wait, and a good push- up bra is anywhere available anyway. 

I can't imagine it's already November. And 2015 is almost coming to a close. Just last year around this time I was in the Philippines patiently waiting for Sasha's arrival and my husband coming for his birth. And now we are together, as promised. God is so good! 

This last week was full of downs more than ups. Every night I reflect on my day and contemplate of the things I could have done better. God wants me to be the best version of myself. I want to change this and that. But  I cannot do it on my own. My child and my husband are my greatest blessings. It's easy to forget when you get carried away by rolling tides. But God is always ardent to remind me how much he blessed me. I have everything I wanted and more, it's mostly a matter of attitude how I see life and how to grab happiness by the head. There is no room to complain when there's so much to be thankful for. 

Salivating

Baby Proofing and all other stuff Related

Oh my, 'thoughtI had the worst of the phase bringing up bebe. 'Thought the first three months post-birth were the hardest, man I can say right now that this phase of him strutting his moves carefully on our floor tiles are the most demanding and nerve-wracking to date. 'Can't do much right now besides making sure he won't fall bump his head or cut his face. We are literally playing hide-and-seek and track and field inside our apartment.

On top of that, I think I am  D-O-N-E with the breastfeeding, not only that he bites really hard now, he squeeze and pinch and pull my girls like elastic rubber bands. Sometimes I want to consider wearing a metal breastplate that kind knights wore in a battle 'coz it's practically the same with Sasha. Getting him to suck my boobies when he was born was relatively easy so I thought maybe saying goodbye to them will be the same. I am giving him another month to continue his relationship with my chest until then I need to teach him how to move on. "Breaking up is never easy little man but it can be done! ".  I am beyond grateful for the wonderful benefits of breastfeeding that my boy was able to experience. True, he never really get sick and he is smart and joyful to be around with but now that his first birthday is looming around the corner my almost 9 kg baby needs to feed from the bottle from that time on. He is heavy and moves like a fish, doesn't want to be hiding under my nursing cover anymore like he wants him to be seen like he's an old man drinking beer,in the expense of my boobies overly exposed . For sure we are gonna get kicked out everywhere we go if we will persist. Dubai is a bit strict with nursing mothers that they actually build special rooms in the malls exclusively for us.How sad to be isolated from all the fun.  

And about the party me and my husband were so thrilled to attend for the first time without the child tugging along, well.... The party was ruined. COMPLETELY. I put him to bed at 10, hubby will land in Dubai at 1045 I had ample time to get ready. Just right after he called to tell me he will be waiting for me downstairs in the parking lot, Sasha wailed like there was an emergency or something. He screams like an ambulance car sometimes. I asked my cousin to turn off all the lights and I will try to rock him back to sleep. There, my little child like an adult gazed right into my eyes in wonder why momma is wearing make up this late and smells nice and not baby puke. He could have figured right then that something was off." Momma has an evil plan." I managed to hand him over to my cousin and they went to another room while I sneak out of the apartment like a teenager. My knight in shining armor was there sitting in our car waiting for me. We were so excited. I was over the moon to be sitting in the front , beside him since I only get to sit at the back to make sure Sasha doesn't cry, looking always like the nanny there. We were just cruising Sheikh Zayed  when I received a text message from Danica. " Sasha is crying and he wont take the bottle". Oh we're doomed. The Palm island is a 45-minute drive from our place without the traffic. His friends were so thrilled so know we will make it,unfortunately we only lasted for a mere 10 minutes. 'Didn't even get to finish my cocktail. I was pissed with the crying of Sasha vibrating on my phone. When we arrived he was asleep. My cousin said he was crying since the moment I left and only stopped 15 minutes before we arrived. So there, I'm not going to party 'til he's five. Oh please God no. 

This is parenthood and motherhood coming out from someone like me. These are the challenges when your little boy is not so little anymore but is getting too clingy. He wants me like I am his god. I think thats very sweet. His smile melts my heart every time. It's not easy all the time but it's fun having him. Yeah so I'm putting the idea of a night out to rest for a while 'til we figure out how to teach Sasha a little independence.

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