Stay Beautiful

It's easy to get carried away with images of perfection the media has been trying to sell us. Sometimes just flipping over a fashion magazine gives me the cringe and instantly rob every once of confidence I have. Looks like no matter how much you exercise you will never get the perfect body. No matter how much sunscreen you put and how many beauty creams you buy you just couldn't stop the aging process.
There will always be someone better looking, somebody with bigger boobs and a nice butt and a perfect smile but come to think of it, all in the end the skin will wither and lines will appear.
Whenever a surge of insecurity comes in I just close my eyes and smile. As long as I am happy and content I have the best beauty regimen. Because whatever you feel inside will always manifest outside .
In my career it's quite a real pressure to stay beautiful. All the best looking people from all over the world are in one roof, parading their assets with their heads up high. If somebody is not careful enough he/ she can just get out of control trying to fit in. That's why sometimes having a relationship can be very disposable. There's just so many fish in the sea and you don't even need a net to catch them.
It's vital to have a positive self image not based from beauty magazines and Fashion TV. I believe to better nourish the soul first before heading to the nearest beauty counter. We should learn to accept what God has given to us and complement it with good deeds. If we learn to love ourselves first with all the quirks and imperfection real beauty radiates.
Be confident. Sometimes it's not the conventional beauty queen who can catch the eye of the prince, it's Plain Jane with her confidence and personality.

7 awesome things I learned from my Mom

1. Grace

Whether your mom taught you to say “Grace” at the dinner table, or she simply exemplifies the art of gracefulness, one of the best things you can learn from your mother is how to be graceful. Gracefulness is having a humble spirit, being thankful, being polite and being forgiving to others. If your mother doesn’t exemplify grace, then learn to be graceful anyway. All graceful women are beautiful from the inside out, well-liked, and will succeed in life no matter what they do. Grace will carry you where money, material items and the perfect weight never will.


2. Responsibility


I have always hated the word responsibility because it brings on a negative connotation I associate with chores, yet now more so than ever, I appreciate that my mother taught me responsibility. She taught me to clean up after myself, take care of my home and take pride in following rules, being tidy, and doing the right thing. She also taught me the importance of being responsible with my finances, even though it took me almost my entire life to learn, so don’t make the same mistake I did! Responsibility can be a wonderful thing. It gives you inner discipline, self-pride, and a sense of accomplishment. Take responsibility with pride, girls, not with dread!


3. How to Dress


Now, hear me out. I don’t dress like my mother, and I used to hate the way she dressed. Now, however, I appreciate two key things about how my mom taught me to dress. Number one is that she taught me to match. No wearing crazy color schemes or a mismatching handbag. Number two is to always leave the house looking put-together. That means no going to the grocery store in your pajamas or wearing sloppy clothes out of laziness. I may not have always liked what my mom wore, but she always matched and always looked put-together.



4. Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness


I grew up in a small home and though I never hurt for anything, I also never lived a life of luxury, but she also taught me that being rich, having the best of everything, and trying to live up to the standards of other people would never make me happy. I quickly learned that brand name clothing didn’t fit into my budget or make me a better person. I also learned the thrill of buying all my own things and feeling like an independent woman.



5. Learn to Cook


This is perhaps one of the best things I learned from my mother. Rarely as a child did I ever have to eat a meal that wasn’t cooked at home. Start cooking for someone you know to practice your cooking skills on. It can be as easy as you want it to be, but you’ll be so glad you learned how to do it! Cooking is a great way to save money, eat healthier, and to nurture yourself and others around you.



6. Choose a Good Man


My mother has always taught me the right characteristics to look for in a man and none of them included rich, powerful, or that they had to look like a movie star. She taught me look for someone who is emotionally strong, financially responsible, gentle, spiritual and most important, loving. She also taught me to look for someone with manners. I used to wonder why she never approved of the guys I dated in high school, and now I know why. None of them had qualities that would make for a good mate, nor did they respect me at all. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. You deserve to be treated like a lady, as long as you act like one of course.



7. Have Faith


One of the best things you can learn from your mother, whether she is the perfect mom or not, is to have faith. Have faith that life will bring you joy when you greet the world with joy. Have a hopeful spirit even in the midst of darkness. Have faith that you are in control of your destiny.

Up And Coming

'Seems like I am going on a holiday next month. Just in time for my first year in the aviation industry. I am certainly clueless what awaits me in years to come but my June roster somehow makes me feel bad. Instead of having the celebratory mood I started feeling like I may have to change course. I don't need 10 days consecutive of not being able to fly. It just tells me that I am bound to bum around longer than needed and I just don't like not doing something useful and worthwhile. As much as flying back to Manila as the option with all these massive amount of days off I just think that it would cost me much financially and emotionally.
Don't get me wrong, I am completely grateful with this amazing life I have, this great opportunity to see the world only in my case , I am certain there's got to be more to life than this and I have still so many things to offer.
Like anything in life where we want to build a future with, we try to examine in the beginning if we are in for a long haul and if the other party is feeling the same way about us.
One thing I learned in life the hard way is whenever seeing a future with something- career or a relationship we should have the courage to know and tell if its promising or not and be brave enough to jump off and start finding what truly belongs to us if it doesn't .
I suddenly find myself again bombarded with questions with what and where do I see myself 5years from now?
I will always be in-love with travel. I just wish that sooner than later I will find something to do with it that would make me do more with what I have, other than asking for tea or coffee and touching up the lavatories.

Lighten Up!

She quietly expected great things to happen to her, and no doubt that’s one of the reasons why they did.”

—	Zelda Fitzgerald (via andellasaid)

Take a Dip inside my Brain

 I have too much going on inside my head. So I decided to take some out from the lid and let them flow freely. Since the time I came back from Manila, I've been juggling to keep my personal life alive and my career life at its best. It's hard when you're sleep-deprived and you tend to hear voices who isn't yours. It can drive me into insanity. So I put extra time for prayer and meditation. I can blame the aging process has taken its toll but I say it's more about caring more of what others think. And here  I am finding remedy to live the life I imagined.

People I work with can either make or break my flight experience. And lately they making me want to give flying another year.

She came from Etihad, I guess flying has always been written in her stars. It's no wonder she lights up every room she enters. Her vibrant energy makes everything look easier.
 Her face mirrors her sweet childhood memories. Her tiny frame can be mistaken for a twelve-year old girl. And I just like being around her. I guess most of her kind seem to be the sweetest. And then there's this girl Sunhwa from Busan, Korea. I adore her as much. If each flight I get to be with these awesome people I don't mind doing ultra long range flights. Really.

I keep the good times safely tuck somewhere there in a special corner in my brain. So when life throws ugly pictures I can easily get them to review. My life is plagued by mistakes but I try to remember the moments I smile truly from my heart. At work, each destination is no guarantee that the journey is going to  be smooth. So each time I get to experience something worthwhile I make sure I share it.

He took my hand and asked for my name. I was blushing all throughout. "Oh my, I must be special". Mr. Jo was sitting in first class and came by to ask for pajamas. Rumors started spreading that there's a celebrity on-board. I can't help but assume it was him. Alex from ML2 started begging me to call him if he happens to wake up. Mr. Jo looks undeniably like a movie star.  And all gays on-board were all too excited to get a glimpse of him. Jo asked for the purser and Karolina was so happy to assist. We all got too crazy in the galley pressing onto each other to see Jo. All along we were thinking he was a famous Rugby player. He got too smooth with some blondes as well. He took their hands too when he asked their names, which made me feel an ordinary human being again. Turns out later, he is just a-nobody. Just a normal Businessman who looks good in his suit and tie. At work, when there's a gorgeous passenger everyone's on full alert, because it rarely happens. Oh well. At least it was a great and easy flight back to Dubai from my last Bangkok flight.

When somebody appreciates your work it's a sure way to relieve stress. In fact it's an instant lift to be more motivated. I know not everyone can see how much hard work each one pays and truly it feels divine when it happens.

In life, I learned to speak good words especially when not expected. I may not be all 24/7 optimistic, but I try my best to think more logically each time. I also learned that each person is dying to hear something positive about them. Let's be generous to appreciate. You may never know when you need one. So go, and spread words of love.

I've been doing a special exercise for a week now. "What the old -me would normally do in this case? and this time I will do it differently."At first it scares the hell out of me. But later I feel more alive and learned that it wasn't so bad after all. I am still a work-in-progress like the rest of the people who thrives to improve.

I learned to fall in-love with myself a little bit more. Not in the narcissistic kind of way. But the kind that gives me the feeling of being so blessed and desiring to encourage others  as well. My eyes aren't blue and wearing contacts will just damage my eyes. My skin is brown and I am just happy not having to go to a tanning salon all the time.  I don't have a statue-esque features that best fit in the fashion runways but I am delighted as much  that I am tall enough and fit enough to look good in my own style. As the saying goes, it's not  what the woman put in her back that makes her beautiful, it's the smile she puts in her face.

I made a pledged to never compare myself to anyone. I am a woman unlike any other.
I made a promise as well not to compare my life status to anyone anymore. I will be kind to myself and stop beating myself up for the pressure the society has created.
I just want GOD to nourish my heart with his undying love for me. To fill my heart with happiness,love and freedom. And patience too, whenever the sky turns gray.

“

Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect her to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect her to calm you down when you’re yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with all your plans. But that’s the thing. Love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.

Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can’t comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can’t see. They can’t see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you’re in love. It’s inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can’t live without it. What you don’t learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn’t worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.

Love isn’t her calming you down when you yell. It’s her yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn’t her/him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable.

It’s after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet her showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It’s not her saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it’s not her caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright. It’s her standing there, admitting she’s just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you’re not the only one involved. You’ve unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you. As long as you have it.

It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn’t cross. Because love isn’t about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It’s about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it’s a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling ‘happy’ and feeling whole

”

—	Definition of Love - Andrew Landon

Dear crazy-romantic heart,
Stop being so soft and mellow, this could get you into trouble.
XOXO

Beautiful things #tokyo flight

Some very helpful Travel Essentials

Frequent flying can be exciting but there are times that the journey itself can be such a pain. How many times I wished I can just teleport myself or make the cabin environment a little bit more comfortable and Nourishing to my skin. Oh well, such is life.
Here below are essentials I agree that you must have.
Got the gut to brave the sometimes not-so-friendly skies ? Here are some tips for an easier life @ 40,000 feet.

1. Water And Snacks

Yes, it’s expensive to purchase a bottle of water at the airport once you’ve already passed through the security line, but even so, this is by far one of my most important airplane travel essentials. Along with keeping you hydrated both prior to and during your flight, carrying on a water bottle means you won’t be left at the mercy of tiny plastic cups that hardly hold more than a gulp or two. Snacks are another key item you won’t want to forget, since you never know how long an unexpected delay could leave you stuck on the tarmac or whether the oftentimes overpriced meal and snack options sold onboard will be to your liking.

2. Magazines And Books

While I used to dread long flights, I now actually look forward to them as the perfect opportunity to up on my reading. Rather than just bringing along one magazine or book, I’m always sure to pack a couple extras to help prevent boredom in the event of a missed connection or an onboard entertainment system that is malfunctioning. Just avoid buying them at the airport if you can, since these items can be rather pricey. Also, while I do love my Kindle, I honestly prefer to travel with paperbacks, which feel light enough in my carry-on bag and don’t need to be put away during takeoffs or landings.

3. A Travel Pillow

Whether you’ve booked an overnight flight or just want to avoid arriving at your destination with a sore neck, you definitely can’t go wrong by packing a compact travel pillow. My favorite, Total Pillow, doesn’t take up much space and can also be twisted and turned every which way to help support your neck or back. Throw one into your carry-on for sweet dreams.

4. Your Favorite Moisturizer
There’s nothing like a little recycled plane air to dry out your skin and leave it looking and feeling parched upon arrival. For this reason, I never fly without a travel-sized container of my favorite moisturizer, currently Mary Kay’s TimeWise Day Solution, which comes in a 1-oz. bottle and never leaves me feeling greasy. Two other things you’ll always find in my bag? Hand cream and lip balm.


5. A Cozy Cardigan
Since airplane temperatures can be incredibly unpredictable, I always dress in layers when I fly. One thing I’m never without? A cozy cotton cardigan that isn’t the least bit bulky and can also double as a small blanket.

6. A Lightweight Laptop
As much as I prefer to enjoy work-free flights, there are times when this simply isn’t possible. In these instances, I always pack my travel laptop, a smaller netbook that is easy to get in and out of my bag at the security checkpoint and which also weighs less than many typical models. While not nearly as powerful as my home computer, the netbook is still handy enough to get the job done, at least until I can afford to shell out for a coveted MacBook Air.

7. Extra Medication And Toiletries

You hope it won’t happen, but in the event that your checked luggage is lost, you certainly won’t want to be left without the essential medications and toiletries that are vital to your own personal health and comfort. For this reason, I never check any medications and always include travel-sized toiletry items in my carry-on bags.

Are you a frequent flyer? What are a few of your own favorite airplane travel essentials?

The reason why Instagram is helpful in the future...

just in case my grand kids will not believe that grandma used to be HOT...LOL!

Moonlight Serenade

Her words were crisp, sweet like melon, and he sipped from her lips with thirsty gulps as if he had been roaming vast deserts for long days and cold nights. He craved for some intellectual arousal and indulged in the soothing wisdom of her voice. She talked slowly and steadily, yet still too fast for him to capture it all. He was mesmerised by her look, and felt overwhelmed by her abundant presence, as if he was that shy kid again who entered the candy store not knowing what to ask for. A little flame hops from the candle to a pair of mysterious eyes. A big white moon eavesdrops on their conversation, while casting its silvery light on her beaming face. When you hear the truth, your soul recognises it to be so. He breathes toxic dreams; he’s not going anywhere.

something borrowed @ www.chasingthoth.blogspot.cm

Like mother like daughter

Your love for us was beyond compare. You were the " tough " one.

Only now I understood the reason why you were warning me too much about boys, teaching me how to live life simply and putting God at the center of my life.

I will be forever indebted in you. Your sacrifices, your tears, your endless prayers just for each of us to have a good life... Thank you for looking after us. When all our savings ran out you were the one who found ways just for us to make it. You are a fighter. You are indeed a strong woman. I will never be able to reach where I am now without you.

I will always remember your thoughtfulness, your generosity and your humor.

Thank you for believing in me. For loving me when I least deserve it. For praying for me when I needed it most. For forgiving me whenever I fall. For understanding me when I make such decisions.

You always look at me like I was a perfect person Mom, and it breaks my heart to disappoint you for you have given us everything. Thank you for being with me for 27 years. I know you are at peace now up there.

I will always miss you until we meet again.
You are the best mother I could ever ask for.
Happy Mother's Day!
I.love.You. Dearly....

Thank God for the bookstores

I just know where to go if I want an instant lift aside from going to church.
You can usually find me in the corner engrossed with a truckload of glossy magazines devouring the latest Hollywood gossip-- my guilty pleasure. Or getting glued on the latest trend in Vogue.

Sometimes, what a woman needs is just another woman's point of view and more.

I brought a bunch of books from home. I swore to not buy books this month without getting a bigger bookshelf. I was this close to purchasing one, gladly I was running out of time to catch the metro and the long queue made me think otherwise.

Oh well I still have half of this month to finish it.

Long day offs without planning can be such a bore. When all my friends are up in the sky and my pregnant cousin is advised to bed rest I simply ended up moping in the couch thinking where can I catch some excitement. I can't stand Banana girl marking her territory in the kitchen with her endless cooking and her deafening laughter which irritates me. Her making me feel invisible somehow has failed to drive me over the edge.
It's better to go discover the city and get some fresh air. Me and her in the house makes me claustrophobic.

I wonder if the happy days are gone? I know I have my reliable Kinokuniya to keep me company but books are just things and I miss date nights which includes movies and PDA. What a girl to do?
When I was younger, I worry about money to enjoy the simple things, now I am a full grown woman I agonize over dinner for one and seeing The Great Gatsby in the cinema, solo. It gets lonely sometimes here in my world.

hahah! LOL

Back here

I left my place with mixed emotions. It's nice coming back to Dubai with all the comforts and whims I could manage to get but Manila is like your annoying aunt who bakes the best chocolate chip cookies, she's entirely unique and unforgettable.

Dubai is now my comfort zone. And Manila is becoming a constant test of my patience. I love how UAE is so organized while back home chaos is the new normal.

Whenever I board the aircraft leaving my folks I automatically get a sudden rush of adrenalin. My mind starts getting busy formulating dreams and projects I would like to achieve. I feel blessed to have this life. And I desire for others to somehow experience the same.

For about a week I spent my days hanging out with the oldies.
I got used to waking up early @ 5am just to join my father for his morning jog and visit my mom's grave after. For the first few nights I suffered from intense headaches due to extreme heat and the never-ending barking of dogs. Then later I managed to sleep soundly without earplugs. The townspeople got used to seeing me everywhere. Old teachers, old classmates, neighbors and former admirers. They were still the same people. I happened to meet someone I knew way back my childhood days. We haven't seen each other for the past 17 years and decided to drop by my house just to get a glimpse. Then I met my former family dentist who happened to extract my aching tooth when I was just nine. After 20 years I coincidentally needed her she can fix my dad's teeth. It's nice feeling when people were happy to see what you have become. There's pride and inspiration brewing.

My mom's untimely death was a signal of a new chapter in my life. I am a full-grown woman in search for a deeper purpose. It's no brainer why I am daddy's girl, because eventually I am the one who will look after him. It's no wonder why I have all these struggles so I can better relate to people. I am dreamer. And I work hard.

This short trip taught me well about how no matter what happens your family is all you've got. Then I met a relative who taught me in investing my money wisely. So bye-bye to mindless spending. And despite my half-hearted conviction to just be on my own, I realized that having a life-partner to enjoy the ups and downs of life is still the best choice rather than claiming all the material success but ending up alone in a cold dark house in the countryside. I know there's no perfect person out there but I still have high hopes that I will find someone who will see me perfectly and that we will be two souls attached to one body.
I sincerely thank my wonderful parents for being wonderful. For my mom who taught me how to act like a real lady who commands respect. For my dad who nourished my curiosity in stretching my potentials. Truly, what I have and will become is my gift to them.
Nice to be back here but half of my heart I left with the hustle and bustle of my dear hometown.

Waiting for you

Buses and trains

Tricky tricky mind. My train hasn't arrived yet. Sometimes it scares the hell out of me. Most of the time I play it cool. But damn there are just days I can't fake my anxiety anymore. I know God is my great architect and He will lead me to the path that's best for me. Just the image of an aging old woman with 20 cats as her sole company in life gives me shivers. Someday perhaps I will freeze my eggs just in case. Who knows what the future holds but I have strong faith who holds the future.
It's amazing to love and to be loved. Nothing is certain though. The thing that makes you the happiest can make you in an instant -- the loneliest. Keep holding on.
Happiness is a choice and life is too short not to take it.
Wherever this great adventure might take me I pray that I will make the right choices and spend each moment with great love and great passion.

Day done

I am having cake-fever-----
-- I am jealous my brother finished a 21K marathon....
--- I am getting so emotional with my reading....

And if that what happens, if I have already lost him, I will at least gained one very happy day in my life. Considering the way the world is , one happy day is almost a miracle.

She picked up four packs of sleeping pills from her bedside table. Instead of crushing them and mixing them with water,she decided to take them one by one,because there is always a gap between intention and action, and she wanted to feel free to turn back half way. However,with each pill she swallowed she felt more convinced: after five minutes the packs were empty.

Almost there.

Close your eyes...
In three... Two .... One....

Home is where the heart is

It's been four days since I came. Nothing much has changed only the weather getting extremely hot each day. It somehow makes me think of the comfort I enjoy in Dubai.
I only come home to visit my family. Suddenly, it feels foreign to roam around the places I grew up in. I am no longer attached. Only the people who touched my heart makes me want to crawl back here time and time again.
It feels different since my mom passed on. I remember vividly how she prepared all my local favorites. Now, it's just dad and my younger brother. And you know what, indeed mother knows best. The house feels more empty. And I can only imagine how my dad feels every single day.
So I will try my best to make each second of my stay here counts. I know Dad needs my company and I want him to know that he is not alone walking in this road.