I'm Rockin'

What's in My Name Today?

I got hit twice in a row, with a mere split second interval. Out of nowhere a voice from behind just said hi! and pronounced my name with much gusto. I said "hey" back out of politeness. I don't know what's something different with my name tonight or maybe with how I look. I definetely wore my hair the same way that I do and my face looks no different from the previous nights. I did not sleep extra hours and so I should not be having any miraculous age-defying effects to make me more noticeable. And yet I feel that there's something extra about this evening.
I decided to run away from the guy. Honestly, I think he works with the mafia. I've never met anyone so possesive and manipulating like this one. At first it was romantic until it becomes a constant alarm that won't shut off. I've been out with him once and he made the effort to come and see me everyday after but his nonstop calls that suddenly made me ask myself that if the world will indeed end soon maybe his behaviour is quite acceptable. Surely I got tired of it. When you're receiving about twenty misscalls overnight and several sms I don't think it's falls to the category of normal anymore. I will certainly understand if we made ourselves clear to be committed to each other in which I think I did the exact opposite. He certainly looks nice and my friends can't help but coo whenever he's around me, but I think I just graduated from the good-looks-is-all-takes-to-win-me-over kind of a girl. He really did make me feel wanted and very much liked. But with his third visit in my flat that's when all hell-breaks-loose for all his chances. He's just not IT.

If this scenario happens with someone you truly like( but there's no potential for any solid future or an exciting partnership )is that there's always an ounce of regret after. It keeps you up all night for weeks until you found yourself in the universe of numbness. Sadness was there but there's this inexplicable amount of gratitude that life still is worth living. Exciting surprises is still in store. Life never gets dull.

I earned the title of the Queen of the Night as my dear friend Smiley puts it, just because I did OWN the night quite literally. Three weeks of being the only female night owl who haven't seen the fancy christmas decorations parading in the streets at night I deserve a much needed rest soon. While I juggle yoga, laundry, grocery shopping and restaurant reservati0ns in one off-day before the holidays I really have to save my energy until Wednesday.

I certainly grown more mature this year. And if Santa will ask me If I've been good this year? You bet, and I want nothing but a better 2012 ahead,,,

call me Yellow...

At one Point I did something like this...

credits to pattylaurel's blog

I remember I had one when I was 13....Gosh...

soooo kilig....

Because I haven't found what I am looking for...

or might have but couldn't...

Forest for the Tree

With every step
I took this day
a single thought
swam through
my mind:
I might be
a tree,
tall and proud
and roots that
run deep
but you,
you my love,
are a forest
that stretches
as far
as these eyes
can see.-Tyler Knott Gregson-

MMM..ost Likely...

What a mess!

I couldn't go this way, ever...

These are the things that's been running in my Head (lately..)

Best time of the year is only a breath away. I started playing Christmas songs whenever I get home and shopping takes longer than it used to, oh lots of surprises on the way and this is something I always look forward to.

At work everyone's getting more competitive and that's one of the things that inspires me. Pushing myself to the limits, this little thing that tells me that I can do better. I should spend more time reading I don't feel like I am putting words correctly in this post. haha. Sorry for not being articulate this time.

I've been very busy lately,running errands and all but surprisingly I am perplexed with peace. When was the last time I had a breakdown? I could hardly remember.

It's been a while since I went out with a guy. Not a friend and certainly not with a group of friends. I almost forgot the rules and the works of the first date. Eeh. It went actually all right. I was defitely scared in the beginning but he was harmless in the end. I always have this inclination to think someone I barely know to be a serial killer on a first date. Although it ended abruptly since I have a strict commitment to yoga that I need to blow him off early he was quite consistent to ask for a follow up. I think it's a good thing when you like the guy, but I don't even know if I like him or worse if I need to like him. He was sweet but honestly, I don't think I'm ready and need one at the moment. I told him the same thing and I even told him I will make him give up on me. Yeah I can be cruel now rather than inflict pain to someone in the end.

I went to Al Mamzar Park last week with my cousins. It's becoming cooler even in the midday and watching them make a music video for a hell of five hours truly had the best of me. Thanks to Dairy Queen and Jane Green books I survive the day. And during those trying moments I can't help but take a walk down memory lane. I certainly begun to think of this person and that person. And then I started getting a little emotional watching couples and little kids getting all cozy in the park. What a single girl to do? But have a pint of ice cream when girl hormones starts to kick in.

I reached this place wherein I am complete with or without someone. I feel comfortable talking with someone I like so much and vice versa. Falling in-love again may take some time, but who cares when I am a having a blast in my life. I know It's right there anyway.

when I am about this close to forget you, something happens and my heart still ache for the once Us.

The universe hints,
teases, and slowly reveals
what our hearts will need.


Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

Note to self

I think I am spending way too much time reading other's tweets...
I need to take some break from twitter and start writing some decent posts rather than my mindless ramblings...

Note to Self

I would rather be

the loneliest dress

of all the dresses

hanging in the

back

of your closet

than the most loved

most worn

and most gorgeous

dress

in the front

of anyone

else’s.

DRESS

Tyler Knott

Merci Beaucoup!

I am always grateful for all the things that God has given me whether they were happy moments or painful discoveries for without them I wouldn't have known the difference and I wouldn't have gone this far.


What's the perfect beginning for this gratiture post, Thank you very much Holy Father for showering me with a lot of things beyond my expectations, ForI have stumbled quite a lot but then help was always on the way. I once questioned my abilities and had enormous doubt about myself when people let me down but then there was always a moment of enlightenment and miracles just presents itself through these darkest hour.


With more vigor and passion towards life I can't get more excited. I know I am not perfect and nobody is but with the right attiture and a pocket full of prayers I know everything is going to be alright.

There's just aLot of things to look forward to and I can always find something to adhere to whether it's just the most mundane of things.

Thank you very much...

for my family
for my friends
for my health
for bringing me "here"
for the boundless love from everyone:-)

Because I'm a Happy Happy Girl...

Holt Renfrew - Coco Rocha and Behati Prinsloo from Coco Rocha on Vimeo.

this vid of coco rocha reminds me of early teens... and it just made my day:-)

Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible.

T.E. Lawrence

“And all around, people fall like leaves in the snow. But those who cut you down, do not know, they are planting a forest.”


— I Wrote This For You: The Protestors In The Park

i hope they will collaborate soon...:-)

who wouldn't fall in-love, is such a waste...

Just like

the walls in

the cartoons

if they pulled

open my chest

and took a photo

of my heart

they would find

a perfect

hole cut clean

through

in the exact

and precise

shape of your

silhouette.


CARTOON
-Tyler Knott Gregson-

Style Report while I gain back my momentum

note to self

"anything to make you feel better..."

One thing about Cold Weather

Sure, I love the idea of snow although I haven't experience it myself I think it's beautiful. But one thing about cold weather that I despise the most is my tendency to get sick more often.

And I guess, today it hit me.( Strike ONE.)



Aside from the fact that I missed my friend's party, I don't have appetite to do anything...


I just want to lay in my bed for hours watching videos over a pile fleece blanket...

Because

I am a sucker for poetry and romantic gestures.
I dig alternative music and acoustics.
And I still heart old-fashioned love letters rather than those
abbreviated notes that doesn't make any of my feet to curl.
Those little things you remember and that I have of you
and you wish and you wish if we can look at each other
and we understand what our lips cannot say.

Do you have one of those days when you
dream of having more than 24 hours in a day,
and if only your heart has its tiny little compartments
so there's more room for one
and you choose and you play without getting hurt.
But what you really need is something that will last eventually.

An old lover from the grave
and the feeling you cannot even remember.
You've seen a ghost walked pass through you
and thank heavens you're done with it.

Spring comes and my heart beats faster
as I listen to songs in the radio I think about
how lovely your image has been encypted in my mind
and I feel alright.

I have nothing to hold on to,
But I just believe I'll never ran out of it
when I have so much to Give.

Too

I am
too
little
butter
on
too
much
bread
I am
too
many
thoughts
in
too
little
head.

Tyler Knott Gregson

There’s a folder of pictures I can’t open.There’s so many songs that don’t sound the same.There’s a number I can’t dial and a message I can’t send.There’s a restaurant I can’t eat at, not with any friends.There’s words and names I can only say in my head.There’s a pair of eyes that belong to you, that I can never look into again.”


— I Wrote This For You: The Missing Machine

Hello Thursday! What a Great Surprise You Brought me Today!

Point Me At Lost Islands

"Point me at lost islands. Point me at the sea.
I’d love to know the sound of nothing else but you.

For the life of me, I don’t know
what took us so long, but here we are.
Standing face to face, suddenly
everything makes sense, at least to me.”

Tyler Knott

note to self

I'd sell my spleen just to hang-out with these guys for a day...hahahaha!!!

Meet My Awesome-Awesome Friends!

There's a story behind the tummy she's trying to hide...






Probably the funniest,the craziest and the smartest people I've ever met in my whole life...That's why coming to work feels like joining the Glee Club or something..
Coming to dinner together to send-away our friend Kara since she'll be leaving Singlehood soon has been another story worth-telling.




We were the last people in Saffron, a-must-try restaurant if you'll visiting Dubai.

Saturday was ASIA-ASIA, (like we're not Asian enough )so straight from duty came the feast.
I had too much Lobster that night and Peking duck.

I can't really recall how many times we attacked the buffet stations... what the hell... It's such an amazing night.

I made the booking myself and told them it's her birthday. Expectedly, a birthday cake was given as the staff were singing the birthday song. Of course, it's not her birthday...
We left the hotel in the wee hours catching the night shift. Actually I just came home for a good four hours to sleep and report to work immediately.


The Next One will be a Naughty Bachelorette Party... ( fingers and toes crossed...hopefully our schedule will permit us)

Men and Sunnies

It's only been the first week of the month and yet my calender is almost full. Today right after work, after the bloody flood of departures and arrivals since its the Russian Holiday and the Eid Al Adha for Muslims everybody seems to be squeezing themselves in to our already fully-booked 1359 rooms and suites. Anyway, I always love the adrenaline rush. So, to reward ourselves for another job well done we decided to treat ourselves. We went Duvet and Pillow shopping! We decided to give our beds a makeover. With my dear friend Ran-ran we went straight to the mall and waste a good hell of three hours messing up Home Center and Artikel. Still not satisfied with our girl-bonding moment we passed by Debenhams to check some girlie stuff , and that little did we know that we were both thinking to buy a new pair of sunglasses. I don't really buy one unless I need one which reminds me of one of my favorite posts from CatJuan and I can't help but agree...

1. I go for quality over quantity.

2. I stay with the same one for YEARS.

3. We only part when they no longer help me see ahead.

Well, I am still shopping for both...

We reached our rooms half-past dead and couldn't even unload our stuff. It's been another wonderful day thank you very much.

I can't get more Excited this Christmas! Hahah!

Over a pile of Christmas decor and Christmas Ideas lurking inside my mind, and from the moment I stopped by Artikel last Wednesday, I can't help but be more prepared this holiday season. I haven't been celebrating Christmas for the past four years since I left my home country. And so this year I made a pact with my friends to bring the traditional feast we normally experience at home and get the "true" vibe of the season.

So in tune with my Christmass-y mood I decided to find some music in Youtube. And guess what I found...

My first Love.
Some things never change...

Yes, I was madly and crazily in-love with Taylor Hanson from the Band HANSON from year 1997-2001. My dear Mother, my childhood friends and the walls in my room back home were the living and the non-living witnesses of my delusional and addictive mental state towards this band. Although,they don't play or record music as much as they used to, I will remain a die-hard loyal fan until the day I die.Hahah...
I will tell more about my crazy-fanatic stage during teenage years later on.

This particular song in their Snowed Inn Cd just makes me feel so fourteen again... Even when I cannot comprehend mostly of the words in Taylor's singing-slash-mumbling. Tulsa accent is just way too hard for me.

It goes between...
mmmmm.... paradise, music in my radio, feel like I'm gonna kiss you underneath the mistletoe... and Merry Christmas Baby...and tadadadadadadadadadda.....
*wink*
*wink*
But man, I still dream about this guy even after all these years....:-)

(p.s. never mind the strange female voice that came from nowhere after the band performs...)

In mY List...

Dear October,

Thank you very much for being the best month ever second was August. What can I say, you've surprised me the most. I never really imagine that a detour would be a blessing in disguise.

Thank you for all my accomplishments. Thank you for making me Number One. Now I know how it feels again to be there. After all, I reap what I sow.

And to November, you have to measure up girl...
You have a huge shoe to fill in.


Love lots,
Me.

What's Cooking Tonight?...

Let's Go and abuse Our staff discounts....

Favorite Things

aside from my fetish for bookstores and other stuff, I find interior design such a therapy. If you cannot find me in Borders or Kinukuniya, Surely I'm somewhere in Pottery Barn, Ikea, Home Center or The One.

images via madebygirl

my New LSS

From Make up class

I love to paint. I think there's alot of ways to express my love for it. I give free makeovers and I salute the makeup artists I worked with for they were the reason I decided to step up and Go for it! I may not be drawing or sketching too much like before, but I'm painting faces! :-)

Talking about First Impressions Part 1

At last, it finally pushed through. We've been meaning to go out for a cup of coffee or something for months now. The closest thing we can get is between "hello, how are you and see you later" since we hardly had the time. Thank God, before the peakest period reach us we were able to finally meet after work.

Who said opposite sex couldn't stay just being friends? We see each other everyday and we've known each other for quite awhile now . Sure he is a nice guy and I know how ladies talk about him in the locker but I'm just not one of them. He's an honest, open-minded yet conservative (yeah he is, just now I've realized that) a geek, a funny guy, with the Joel Osteen personality because he tends to preach! Yes,he does preach! But all in all, he's one of the few with whom I can open my heart to and not be judged.

In this land where every guy's name is Mohammad, I told him I don't want to call him that. I refer to him as Smiley, because I had never seen him gets mad or upset. He always brings light in every room he's been in. He's a linguist. Everyone seems to know him. Who wouldn't? He can speak English, Arabic, French, German, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian and Russian. No wonder all the guests queue in his counter. Haha.

So today between book reviews and his broken heart we were able to finally sit quietly and ask questions we've been meaning to ask to each other. It's funny to find out what were his previous inhibitions about me. I did push him out of his chair when he asked me some things I never thought he would think about me. Damn! Don't you dare jundge the book by its cover!
So to all people who might have the same judgment about me let me make it clear.

Number One- Not because I might seem like an Ice Queen when I don't smile If I don't know you by name doesn't mean that I'm a B***ch. Sometimes, I prefer to be approached first. Be cool. You might like me in the end. I guarantee you.

Number Two- Not because I dress whatever I like doesn't mean that I am EASY. I love to dress up. I never put something over-the-top but in this country wherein showing a little bit of flesh meant that you're selling something, men seem to exaggerate. I dress for me, not to catch men's attention or make the ladies follow my trend. I am comfortable with myself and I express how I feel with the ensemble I put on everyday.

Number Three- Not because I attend parties and drink occasionally doesn't automatically means I sleep around and having way too much fun. That's completely the opposite. Give me a bottle of wine and I will not even reach half of it and you will carry me home. I never kiss and get comfortable with a guy too fast, too soon.Sorry to disappoint you. I am a little bit old -fashioned. I don't usually jump into the bandwagon without that assurance that what I am going to do is not something I will regret after. I am never a fan of flings and short-term relationship. The last one I had in fact was four years. I never smoke or commited any crime. I kill spiders, that's true because for sure I will never sleep if I had seen one in my room.

Number Four- Not because I speak my mind doesn't mean that I cannot be quiet. Actually I am a little bit of everything. I am crazy enough to get a tattoo and too-religious that I won't mind spending a day inside a Monastery to have a peaceful time with the nuns in my congregation, - St. Augustine and the Carmelite Sisters.

These are just some of the things that I found out about myself that people tend to judge me for. I will continue soon because right now... I am just too sleepy to write another sentence.

P.S.
Not because I am skinny means I am anorexic or bulimic or whatever. Ask anyone close to me will tell you how I eat and you will be surprised to find out I am not in a diet at all. I am just gifted. Haha.

'til my next post. probably when I wake up...:-)
Ciao!

You're In Black N White